Sex Spoken Here: Secrets of a Sexuality Educator

I Love This: Norah Jones in "Dealbreaker"

Norah Jones is the shit. Pure and simple. She is enormously talented and versatile. She is also one of those few women that makes my heart swoon.

What can I say? She just totally does it for me.

I was delighted and surprised to see her involvement in a viral video called "Dealbreaker" the band White on Rice (she is part of the 3 person group).

Get ready to see Norah Jones as you've never seen her before. She acts campy, wears wigs and costumes, hams it up, and manages to look like she is having the time of her life. I'm not kidding when I say I peed a little when I first saw the video. 

(yep, that's her on the far right!)

Being that it is Valentine's Day, it is apropos to post this hilarious video about the ups and downs of dating. 

 

Here are the lyrics, but I warn you, they are in all caps so reading them is kind of a bitch. 

LYRICS:

NOW, BACHELOR # 1, IS A GENTLEMAN
HE HOLDS THE DOOR, HAILS THE CAB, HIS SHIRT IS TUCKED IN.
I FINALLY FOUND A MAN WITH A JOB, HE GOT HIS SHIT TOGETHER
SOMEONE PINCH ME PLEASE 
GIRL YOU MUST BE DREAMIN

ITS TIME TO GET IT ON
LET'S SEE SOME FIRE WORKS 
HE GOT HER SCREAMIN SO YOU'D THINK THAT SHE'S
ENJOYING THE PERKS
HA! BUT IT'S THE NASTY BREATH THAT MAKES ME HAVE TO DISS
BECAUSE NOBODY LIKES MR HALITOSIS

DEALBREAKER YOURE JUST WASTIN' MY TIME
UP TIL NOW EVERYTHING WAS GOING JUST FINE 
I THOUGHT I HAD FOUND A PERFECT MAN,
TIL YOU RELEASED THE DRAGON
LADY BONER'S SAGGIN
WHY'D YA HAVE TO GO AND BREAK A DEAL LIKE THAT

BACHELOR # 2 IS LOOKING FINE, OH MY
HE TREATS ME REALLY NICE, HE LIKES TO WINE AND DINE
HE TAKES HER TO THE MET AND SYMPHONY AND BUYS HER JIMMY CHOOS I THINK SHE FOUND A POT OF GOLD 
HER PERFECT VALENTINE.

THE NIGHT WAS CRAZY HAZY SO I'M SLEEPING IN
HE CURLS UP RIGHT BEHIND ME AND HE'S WHISPERING.
"UH OH! IS SOMEBODY A WITTLE BIT COWD? "
THIS FOOL IS BABY TALKIN ME LIKE I AM 4 YEARS OLD.

DEALBREAKER YOURE JUST WASTIN' MY TIME
UP TIL NOW EVERYTHING WAS GOING JUST FINE
I DON'T WANT TO RUB YOUR BA-BY FAT
YOU GOTCHA DIAPER POOPY, CRYIN FOR THE BOOBY, 
WHY'D YA HAVE TO GO AND BREAK A DEAL LIKE THAT?

IT DIDN'T TAKE LONG TO SEE WHAT IS WRONG WITH BACHELOR 3 
YOUD HOPE TO ONLY SEE THIS ON REALITY TV.
BECAUSE WHEN IT'S TIME TO HIT IT
HE FORGETS TO USE HIS ARMS
HE'S A CADAVER HE JUST LAYS ALL OF HIS WEIGHT ON ME
NOW HIS PELVIS MIGHT BE PUMPIN LIKE A TROPHY BUCK
BUT HE'S CRUSHING THIS FLOWER LIKE A MONSTER TRUCK
HE MIGHT HAVE A NICE BODY WITH ROCK HARD PECS
GIRL YOU KNOW I DIDNT SIGN UP FOR DEAD CORPSE SEX.

HELL NO! TO THE BOLO TIE
HELL NO! TO THE BICURIOUS GUY
HELL NO! TO HAIR LIKE DONNY TRUMP
HELL NO! HE WAS A TWO PUMP CHUMP
HELL NO! HE SMELLS LIKE GREY POUPON
HELL NO! HE'S GOT PATCHOULI ON
HELL NO! HE'S WHITE BUT THINKS HE'S BLACK
HELL NO! HE'S INTO NICKELBACK

THERE'S A HAPPY ENDING TO THIS TALE SO DON'T YOU FRET
CUT TO ME WITH JAMES (FRANCO) HEADING TO HIS PRIVATE JET 
YEAH I'LL HAVE ANOTHER MIMOSA WITH A MANICURE
ON OUR WAY TO PARIS JUST TO GET AWAY, "BONJOUR"

SO LADIES YOU JUST HAVE TO PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT
AND YOU CAN BE LIKE ME WITH FRANCO EVERY SIN-GLE NIGHT
HES PULLING DOWN HIS PANTS AND UNBUTTONING MY BLOUSE 
HE'S PACKIN MORE BUSH THAN THE WHITE HOUSE!

DEALBREAKER YOURE JUST WASTIN' MY TME
UP TIL NOW EVERYTHING WAS GOING JUST FINE 
I THOUGHT I HAD FOUND THE MAN OF MY DREAMS,
SOMEBODY HELP ME PLEASE
HIS PENIS SMELLS LIKE PEE,
NOW I'MA HAVE TO PAY FOR THIS BROKEN DEAL. 

EWWW... AND HIS PANTS HAD AN ELASTIC WAISTBAND.
GROSS.

How Ditching Pads and Tampons Can Save The World (Guest Blogger)

Believe it or not, tampons have been in the news a lot lately. 

In the past few months, I've seen headlines about tampons being recalled due to bacterial contamination, high schoolers soaking tampons in vodka to get drunk, and using tampons as flaming weapons. Seriously, I can not even make this shit up!

While I am not a fan of tampons, many vagina owners use them on a monthly basis. My personal reasons for not using them is twofold; they cause me to have wicked cramps and I know someone who almost DIED because of Toxic Shock Syndrome. I am much more partial to using Diva Cups and the Instead Soft Cup. 

Tampons, it seems, are a hot topic. 

FYI, I get the whole soaking tampons in alcohol thing. It is no different from when people take a nostril inhaler, dump out the contents, put in alcohol, and then squirt it into their rectum. Mucous membranes are an efficient way of getting substances into the blood stream. However, it generally is not something that is recommended. Vaginal and rectal tissue is really, really sensitive and introducing alcohol into either of them is dangerous. 

Becca Brewer, who I've written about before (remember she is the fabulous creator of the FREE download of the WWWcharts), posted a blog article about how a vagina owner (and fans of) can save the world by ditching pads and tampons. She has graciously allowed me to re-run her blog post that was originally posted on April 26, 2010. 

Connect with Becca via her website, on facebook (don't forget to "like" her), and on twitter.

~~

How Ditching Pads and Tampons Can Save The World

Those of you who are close to me know how much I love Menstrual Cups. When I began to hash this post out, I was simply going to rave about how amazing menstrual cups are.

And believe me, they are. They last for up to 10 years, can be worn for up to 12 hours, are hypoallergenic, have no TSS risks, don’t suck away the body’s natural fluids, are easy to carry, easy to transport, and are really cheap. Plus it’s my personal opinion that because they require manual removal by putting your fingers in your vag that they eventually make you less grossed out about periods, and help you to become more connected to what’s going on with your body.

But this post is not about all that stuff. This post is specifically going to speak to helping you all think more critically about how pads and tampons affect the environment.

DUDES. FELLAS. GUYS. PEOPLE WHO DON’T MENSTRUATE. This post is for you too. Even though I know that you don’t surf the crimson wave, I’m assuming that you may know one person who does. Maybe you have a wife or a girlfriend. Maybe you have a sister or a mom or an aunt or a daughter. Maybe you have a female friend. Maybe you know someone with a uterus. Even though you can’t use a menstrual cup, you can forward this post along or have a conversation with your uterus bearing acquaintance.

So let’s get on with it!

Pads and Tampons made by mainstream companies (Tampax, Kotex, OB, Playtex, Always, etc), are made in such a way that they do not biodegrade. This means that when you use these products, they will sit in a landfill far after you’ve stopped menstruating and even long after you’re no longer on this earth (either because of interplanetary travel or, you know, death).

And I’m not just talking the actual pads/tampons themselves. There are also the plastic tampon applicators, the plastic packaging that the pads/tampons come in, and any plastic packaging used to sell the products in multiples (assuming it’s a non-recyclable plastic).

All of it becomes waste that just sits in a landfill forever. 

How much waste? Let’s do some math!

• Tampons are about 5 cubic inches in size.
• Since I’m supposed to change my tampon every 4-6 hours, I’ll probably use about 6 per day.
• If my cycle is 5 days, that’s 30 tampons.
• Every cycle, I will create about 150 in3 (or .01 ft3) of waste that will sit in a landfill forever.
• If I menstruate from the age of 11 to the age of 51 every 28 days; that means that I will have 521 cycles over the course of my menstruating life.
• Over the course of my lifetime, I will leave behind 78,150 in3 (45 ft3) of non-biodegradable waste.
• To reiterate that, I will leave behind a box that measures 3’ x 3’ x 5’ of used tampons (plus all of the plastic waste that came with my tampons) as a gift the next generation has to deal with. (And that box will be larger if I use pads.)

Now a 3’ x 3’ x 5’ box doesn’t seem like all that much space. Except, I hate to break this to you all, I am not the only menstruating woman in the world.

There are about 3 billion women in the world, actually. At some point in their lives, if not currently, most of these women will experience menstruation. Which means that even though I only fill a small box personally, if even a quarter of the women in the world use mainstream tampons … we’re working together to create some serious long-lasting waste.

To counterpoint this with Menstrual Cups; here’s some more math:
• Menstrual Cups are about 1.6 in3 (.0009 ft3) in size.
• Over the course of my lifetime, I might go through 5 menstrual cups.
• Which means, if the cup doesn’t biodegrade (some do), I will leave 8 in3 (.005 ft3) of waste behind.
• To reiterate, that is a box that is 2” x 2” x 2” of waste over the course of a lifetime. (Note that this is a tiny 2 inch cube, and the last example was a box measured in feet).
• The cardboard box (if it came in one) and the paper instructions, along with the fabric bags I carried my cup in were all recycled or will biodegrade. 

In addition to landfill space, there’s also the manufacturing process to think about. Now, I’m not a tampon manufacturer and I surely don’t know the process involved, however I’m assuming that to manufacture tampons, one needs electricity, raw materials, chemicals, and water.

Which are things you also need in manufacturing menstrual cups.

But, because I’m all about math right now, let’s look at this in numbers again.

• If we go back to the 30 tampons per cycle and 521 cycles in a lifetime model, over the course of my lifetime, I will need 15,360 tampons.
• Let’s say I buy my tampons in 20 packs. This means I’ll need 782 packs of tampons over the course of my lifetime.

In thinking about my tampon use, I need to think about more than just the waste that results when I discard my tampons. I also need to think about all the resources required to make them AND the resources required to make the packaging my tampons come in. (Not to mention the shipping process that gets them into stores).

I need to think about this with menstrual cups too, but over the course of my lifetime, I may only need 5.

15,360 is way more than 5. 782 is way more than 5.

So even if it takes more resources to make 1 menstrual cup than it does to make 1 tampon, I’m using so many less menstrual cups that in the battle of both product and packaging manufacture, using tampons results in a much greater environmental strain.

Not to mention that tampons and pads are manufactured with chemicals (bleaching agents, adhesives, etc) that (while being bad for your body) also leach into the soil after you’ve thrown them away.

Now in terms of why they’re manufactured this way, I have no answers for you. But I can tell you that you’re not powerless in all this.

So what can you do?

Depends on your commitment. I’ll break it down for you:

Starting Small:
• Switch to tampons that don’t use applicators or that use cardboard applicators instead of plastic applicators, thereby getting rid of applicator waste.
• Use the smallest pads/tampons possible for your flow to cut down on the number of pads/tampons you’re using per cycle. (Don’t, however, leave them in/on longer as that could result in TSS or infection.)
• Switch from pads to tampons. 
• Forward this post to other people you think should know about this.

Getting Serious
• Switch to 100% cotton pads/tampons (Natracare, 7th Generation, etc) because they will biodegrade AND because their packaging is often paper-based and recyclable.
• Write to the mainstream pad and tampon companies asking why they’re not making environmentally conscious products.
• Ask your local drug stores, health food stores, and other retailers to have products like 100% cotton pads and tampons, cups, and reusable pads in stock.

Go Big or Go Home
• Switch to a menstrual cup (Moon Cup, Diva Cup, The Keeper, Miacup, Lunette).
• Switch to a washable, reusable pad (Glad Rags, Lunapads, etc.)
• Start a petition to major corporations demanding they change the way their products are made.
• Start a petition asking major tampon/pad companies to start manufacturing a line of ‘Green’ products.
• Petition large retailers (like Target, Walgreens, Rite-Aid, etc) to carry products like cups, reusable pads and 100% cotton products for purchase.

In Conclusion

Go Green! And although I didn’t mention this specifically, this is one of those instances that by going green, you’re also going to save some green. Do I hear more math? Hell yeah!

• So, we’ve already discovered that I’m going to use 15,360 tampons over the course of my life. 
• I randomly looked up tampons on Amazon and the cheapest deal I could find was $.15 per tampon.
• Which brings my lifetime grand total to: $2304 (pre tax and shipping).

• I’ve estimated 5 menstrual cups over a lifetime, but I’m going to up it to 10 for this example (people lose things, burn things, etc).
• On Amazon (although I’ve found them cheaper elsewhere) the cheapest cup price is $22.
• Which brings my lifetime grand total to: $220 (pre tax and shipping).

A total savings of: $2084

By switching to a cup, you’ll be saving your bank account AND the world. 

Keep Thinking

-Becca

Arrrghhh Writer's Block!

I admit that it tickles me that my last post on Sex Nerd Sandra was so well received....but, unfortunately, I've got a touch of writer's block.

I think it has to do with my newest project, CatherinesSexGlossary. Somehow I've managed to post **210 definitions in only a few weeks. Crazy stuff, right? If you check it out my new blog and like it, please do me a solid and 'Digg' it (if you happen to have an account).

I'll be back in a few days. 

If there is a particular topic you would like to see me tackle here, feel free to leave me a blog comment or shoot me an email (catherine@catherinecoaches.com).

Smooches

 

**If you see something inaccurate or a term that could be worded better, please let me know.**

Have You Met Sex Nerd Sandra Yet?

Sandra Daugherty--aka Sex Nerd Sandra--is super awesome. When you are a sex educator or someone in the community, you tend to hear a lot about people who you have never met. You may be friends with them on social media, but have never met them in person. Attending professional conferences like AASECT and SSSS are wonderful ways of putting faces to names.

I had the pleasure of meeting Sandra in person this past spring and immediately liked her. I later learned that, when we first met, she had mixed feelings about me. You know how sometimes there are just those people you meet who, for what ever reason, remind you of someone else? Well, I was one of those people for Sandra (and not in the good way). Thank goodness she acknowledged those feelings and decided to say "Hey, Catherine isn't (insert name here), so I might as well get to know her further." 

I tend to be one of those people who remind you of other people, and that can either be a really good thing or a really bad thing. 

Sandra has been working as a sex educator at The Pleasure Chest in Los Angeles for almost
4 years. She also is the resident sex blogger for nerdist.com and has her own fabulous "Sex Nerd Sandra" podcast. The SNS podcast is immensely popular, and I was lucky enough to be one of her first guests for the live taping of the 'G Spot TMI' podcast this summer. The podcasts are really amazing and her whole philosophy behind them is to keep things real and relateable. 

It is difficult for me to put into words how much I like Sandra. Sandra is super smart, approachable, funny as shit, and, due to being mixed race, is rocking a mysterious and exotic look. She doesn't take herself too seriously and is someone who hasn't let the whole Hollywood "people totally know who I am" thing change who she is. 

 

Sandra is someone who is super nerdy about the topics of sex and sexuality and will spend a colossal amount of time doing research. Because she works in retail, she knows practically everything about sex toys. I'm not kidding, she is someone who will open the toy just to see how it is put together and she has been known for putting together a sort of franken-sextoy by utilizing parts of 2 or more toys. That, my friends, is what you call commitment!

Getting to know someone who calls herself "Sex Nerd Sandra" is pretty amazing. But can you imagine my complete surprise when I discovered that her SNS podcast is hosted by Nerdist Industries? As you probably know, I have great affection for Chris Hardwick (@nerdist), and have made that pretty clear. After all, he is the person I blame for introducing me to the concept of cake farts. For someone who is hugely anally fixated, this is not something easily forgotten! Cake farts aside, I have been an enthusiastic fan of his for years as he is a stand up comic, often appears on the Chelsea Lately round-table, and is the host of Web Soup and his Nerdist.com podcast. Finding out that Sandra is associated with him was just the cherry on top of a big ole bucket of awesome. 

If you live in the Los Angeles area and are looking for a qualified sexuality speaker for a college event, private party, or special event, I highly recommend Sandra. You can follow her on twitter @sexnerdsandra and become her facebook fan here. 

Super Awesome Free Download!

About 5 years ago I met someone in person who knocked my socks off. Smart as a whip, confident, down to earth, fearless, and easy on the eyes are terms that come to mind when I think about Becca Brewer. 

Quite frankly, she was the bomb. She still is. 

You all are probably familiar with her name because I have used some of her "BeccasSexBlog" posts as she graciously allowed me to rerun a few that are my most favorite.

Becca is what I would consider a certified gold sex educator. 

Her newest venture is called "SmartHotFun", and you can find out all about her, the work she does, and how to contact her from her website.

Becca has taken the time and love to put together a super comprehensive set of charts called the Want!Will...Won't.Chart. This is an amaze-balls tool that helps you clarify exactly what YOU want when it comes to sexual activity. This chart can be used by anyone regardless of your current sex situation. Think of it as a kind of Yes, No, Maybe chart, only way better. 

Becca has given me permission to distribute her chart to my readers. You can download it from my website by going here. You can also get to it by clicking on the "Get Our Free Want!Will...Won't.Chart" button found in the upper left of my blog.

This pdf download will be sent for FREE to the email address you provide.

One word of caution is that this chart is the mother of all charts. It comes with a full set of instructions, and you can fill it out at your leisure. There is no time limit and you can feel free to share some or all of your results with your partner(s) when ever you are ready. If you never want to show the chart to someone you are sleeping with, that is totally alright. It is more of an empowerment tool for YOU.

Thanks Becca!

People Use the Most Awesome Search Terms to Find My Blog

As someone who is a pretty active blogger, I tend to kinda geek out on my analytics.

Ok, really geek out. 

Here is a list of my favorite search terms in no particular order:

• HBO Real Sex**

• Analingus "yeast infection"

• STI in the eye

• Geeks are willing to experiment

• What is a vulva supposed to look like?

• Can a guy get yeast infections in his throat?

• Kardashian vulva puppets**

• Booty bump absorption

• Can I bring sex toys to college?

• Chlamydia in the throat, eyes

• How to make my vagina pinker?

• My boyfriend wants cock when he is doing crystal meth

• Why do people suck dildos? 
  

• Is it gay for a dude to suck dildos?

• Anal pap smear

• TSA sex toys

• How to make my anus pinker

• Cruising/flirting workshops for gay men

• Anal douche secrets

• A person who likes to have sex with potatoes

Pretty awesome list, right? 

I'm not at all shocked to see people coming to my blog with genital shame. I hope that they walk away feeling more normal and secure in their genitals. Seriously, I really hope they don't leave my blog to go buy genital bleaching creams!

And as far as the "person who likes to have sex with potatoes" person is concerned....I'm kinda at a loss for words. 

**I have no idea how the HBO Real Sex thing factors into my blog. The show hasn't even had new shows in a dozen (give or take) years. 

**It brings me an enormous amount of glee that people find my blog searching for Kardashian vulva puppets. It is no secret that I named my 3 mini vulva puppets after them. The fact that my Kardashian naming might have caught on is equally ridiculous and amazing. 

Also, I am not the only person making a list of my favorite blog finding search terms. My friend and super rad educator, Becca Brewer (of SmartHotFun.com), has her own list. Check it out here. 

Another Big Bucket of Awesome!

I wanted to write this particular blog post to express my sincere and heartfelt appreciation to everyone who enjoys my blog. 

Like I've mentioned before, I really had to be talked into blogging. There were and still are so many great bloggers out there that I didn't think I had anything that is super important, new, or different to add. It definitely took a while for me to find my blogging voice, which happens to be very similar to the way I talk with other people. Many of my friends say they enjoy my blog because they can hear me saying the words as if we are in a conversation. That alone is pretty amazing. 

The fact that my little blog has gotten a lot of positive attention deeply humbles me.

I'm someone who doesn't have an advanced degree in sexuality, and I think I worried if I would be accepted due to my obvious non-research like writing style.

I'm also someone who doesn't write in fascinating and juicy details about my sexual exploits, so, of course, I worried if I would ever find an audience. Making the decision to not put pornography or other x rated pictures or visuals on my blog was probably not the brightest idea for a sex blogger, but it felt and still feels like the right decision for me. 

One of the over-riding themes of my life is dealing with the reality that I am not always accepted. The funny thing is that I absolutely believe I have the right to be anyplace I wish to be. However, it has been my experience that having the belief I belong anywhere and reality do not always match up. I have the amazing ability to ruminate on why someone would suggest, imply, or flat out tell me that I don't belong somewhere. It ain't pretty, but it is how I often feel. 

In all honesty, having people write about my blog in glowing terms feels like the sex gods are giving me a high five. 

I was thrilled to be named the #6 top sex blogger by Rori and her amazing blog, Between My Sheets.

I was equally thrilled to trace back a spike in my blog viewship to Persephone Magazine. 

Awkwardette’s Ill-Advised Guide to Getting it On: My Five Favorite Sexy Blogs

Sex Spoken Here: Secrets of a Sexuality Educator

http://blog.catherinecoaches.com/

Catherine has the best sex toy recommendations I’ve seen on the web and offers some very practical tools such as her Ginormous Sex Term Glossary. I am a huge fan of her most recent post, “How the Hell Do You Travel with Sex Toys? (Holiday Edition).” She’s an expert in this since she’s always having to lug around a ton of toys for work, so take note before you pack!

Seriously?!

That is, in fact, a big ol bucket of awesome. As someone who is super quirky about sex toys, I completely appreciate the comment about having the best sex toy recommendations! And it is super-duper awesome that my Ginormous Sex Term Glossary was highlighted. 

My whole philosophy is to spread the word far and wide that sex and sexuality are nothing to be ashamed of and the specific goals for my blog are to educate, entertain, and inform. It is times like these that make me feel like I've nailed all 3! 

With much love and gratitude, 

Catherine

New Boyfriend Meeting the Family? Holiday Dos and Don'ts (Guest Blogger)

Hello my lovelies!

Thanks to the fabulousness that is twitter, I have become friends with a totally fierce woman.

Abiola Abrams (@abiolatv) is a force to be reckoned with! Since I would never be able to do her mini biography justice, so here is how she describes herself

Celebrity Love & Lifestyle Journalist

Author, Personality, Love &  Lifestyle Expert  

Abiola Abrams, your favorite bad girl + good woman, writes books, blogs and columns and broadcasts TV, radio and web series about love, lifestyle and pop culture. This year the love and lifestyle expert has been an MTV Teen Dating Empowerment Coach on the docu-reality series "Made," reported on celebrity news and relationships as a BBC Radio Entertainment Correspondent, been a featured columnist on love and sex for Yahoo Shine and celebs for Yahoo OMG!, talked about and written about love for Essence, blogged on her lifestyle site "Abiola's Passionista Playbook," and hosts/produces her own award-winning web TV series and advice vlogs.

Abiola's upcoming book, The Official Bombshell Handbook, is part humorous memoir, part fun handbook, about living with passion. Dare (Simon & Schuster), a hip hop love story, Abiola's popular debut novel was taught at Amherst College and her provocative writing has been published in anthologies such as Behind the Bedroom Door, Dirty Words: A Literary Encyclopedia of Sex, Say Word: Voices from Hip Hop Theater and Eve Ensler's A Memory, A Monologue, A Rant and A Prayer. 

She posted a blog on Yahoo Voices today and I have been lucky enough to get her permission to re-run it on my blog. 

 

New Boyfriend Meeting the Family? Holiday Dos and Don'ts

The holidays are upon us. This time of year can be stressful for many of us. If you're in a new relationship you may feel simultaneously excited and terrified. It can be an anxiety-inducing situation to be around your family by themselves. This year, however, you are bringing home a new beau. You love him and and you hope that your family does too. 

So, what can go wrong when introducing your boyfriend or girlfriend to your family? Everything! 

The Dos and Don'ts Of Bringing Home A New Love: 

DO prepare everyone in advance. 

A surprise is great under the tree but when introducing a new partner to your possibly temperamental family you want to be as prepared as possible. If you know that Great Uncle Arthur is smelly or that your guy has a thing for getting into political fights, warn all parties ahead of time. Wouldn't you want to know before meeting your man's family that his dad may touch your hair and ask you whether it's real? 

DO ease into the situation. 

Your new squeeze may wish to jump in and immediately be a part of the fam but that's just not realistic. There are things about a family dynamic that an outsider, beloved or not, needs to ease their way into. If your brother teases your dude it's okay for him to tease back but he should not under any circumstance jump into the midst of or attempt to mediate a family squabble. 

DON'T stage anything. 

Don't put on airs or tell anyone what to say. Everyone and everything should be authentic. If you live in a gritty cabin in Kentucky don't splurge for a posh hotel spot solely for the purpose of impressing the new boo. If someone loves you they will love all of you, including where you come from. If they can't hack your family digs then they aren't for you. Better you find out sooner than later. 

DON'T be a nervous wreck. 

The holidays are meant to be fun, above all. The reason you are introducing these two parties to each other is that they are both important to you. Release the need for everything to be perfect. It won't be. 

Someone will say something they shouldn't. Someone else will pass gas at an inappropriate time. Whatever. It happens. This is not easy -- I'm talking to me as much as I'm talking to you. Things will go wrong but while you're up in your childhood bedroom crying about it you may be missing some of the best future memories of your life. 


Life is meant to be lived. Get your hands dirty and get in your game. Besides, after your sweetie meets the bunch of nuts you're related to you'll be meeting his family madness as well. This, is the game of life. 

Happy holidays! 

Catherine's Ginormous Sex Term Glossary!

Ok, so this is just too freaking good to keep to myself! I'm really, really excited about my newest project, so I apologize in advance for me being overly enthusiastic.

I've just launched my ginormous sex term glossary so it is not even close to being complete. This is a labor of love and will take a lot of time! However, it's too cool to keep to myself. You can check out the beginnings of the blog by going here. 

The following is my mission and the reasoning behind the glossary. I really hope you enjoy it and find it educational, informative, and entertaining. 

So I've had this idea running around in my pretty little head for quite some time.....my life would have been so much easier if there was one central place to get quick, accurate information on sex terms. 

There is a TON of inaccurate and downright shitty information on the web. In fact, It is kind of a pet peeve of mine. I figure that I should put my money where my dirty mouth is (instead of just bitching about it) and produce a fabulous and glorious sex term glossary just for you.

Since the glossary I envision creating is a ginormous task, consider it to be a work in progress. I will make every attempt to make sure the content is correct, but I am definitely not perfect. If you see a term that is not up to date, wrong, or want me to include a sex term you don't see listed, please email me at catherine@catherinecoaches.com. Before you bombard me with emails, please give it some time because, like I said, this is a huge list and it takes both time and love to create. 

However, I should clearly point out that as a woman and a sex educator, I happen to find some terms that relate to sexual activity completely offensive. I will not promote words that I find offensive. 

But hold on to your hats because I haven't got to the best part yet!

In addition to the definition of the sex term, I will give you an example of its common usage. You will be able to get a good understanding of the word by reading how I use the terms as a professional. In some instances, I might even include a video snippet or picture. This is some pretty awesome stuff!

Check it out by going here!

Catherine's Words of Encouragement to Anyone Who Wants to Start a Sex Blog

The reality of being picked a top sex blogger is finally setting in. My first thought was "holy crap, I'm #6, and I didn't even know about these awards a year ago!" and my next thought was "holy crap, does this mean that I have peaked?" 

What I'm trying to do is silence those negative and self defeating thoughts the best I can. I'm trying to subscribe to the thought that my best is yet to come. I have big goals, my lovelies. I want an empire. A sex positive empire that will help normalize the taboo topics of sex and sexuality. It's a huge goal, but I know I am someone who usually gets what I want. 

Getting into the sexuality field can be a bit tricky to navigate, but it is totally worth the effort. Because of the personal struggles I had when I got started in the business, I have really tried to be available and accessible to others looking to get into the field. 

However, there is some really great news! Social media has leveled the playing field when it comes to business. Here's some perspective--3 years ago Catherine Coaches, and this blog didn't even exist. In fact, 3 years ago I was getting a little antsy because I left the agency I had worked at for several years and was feeling a bit lost and clueless. I was very much aware that I would never be able to find a supervisor that was as amazing as the one I had just worked for. Remember that my old supervisor is my BFF. Besides being my BFF, he was also my "work husband", and I couldn't fathom having that type of work relationship with someone else. The thought of working for someone else in the non profit world was hugely unappealing to me. And let's face facts, my personality isn't exactly well suited for corporate culture. 

It was in April of 2009 that I began working on the concept for Catherine Coaches, and my business officially launched in July 2009. It started with my website, and I had to be talked into starting a blog. I had no idea my blog would be what it is today, and I'm super grateful for having a loyal readership. 

If you are on the fence about starting a sexuality blog, my advice is to do it! One of the best things about having a sex blog is that you are almost guaranteed to find an audience. Yes, there are thousands of sex bloggers out there, but they are not you! If you are studying or have an interest in human sexuality then you probably have a passion for a certain topic. Focus on what you are passionate about and bring your fabulousness to the blogging world.

Also, if you are not currently employed in the field of sexuality but want to be, having a blog can help establish yourself in the community. You can build credibility by commenting on popular and well known bloggers as well as trying to connect with them on facebook and twitter. 

Blogging is one of the weirdest things in the world to me. The concept blows my mind. However, people do love them! If you want to be a successful blogger then surrender to the fact that not all of your posts are going to be winners. In fact, it is quite probable that some of your most favorite blog posts will never get commented on. Blogging with consistency, regardless of reader comments, is the name of the game. The more you are out there the more people feel connected to you. 

So what are you waiting for? Start blogging!