Sex Spoken Here: Secrets of a Sexuality Educator

Catherine's Picks--Flirting Videos

Don't worry if you weren't born as a natural flirt. Flirting, like many behaviors, can be learned. 

Because flirting can take many forms, I've pulled together some clips that demonstrate what flirting behavior can look like. 

Justin Bieber. Love him or hate him, he is one of the worlds biggest flirts. I'm being completely serious about this. Watch his body language, the way he looks who he is talking to in the eye, and so much more when he was a guest on Chelsea Lately. 

 

 

The elevator scene from the movie the Departed. Many have said this particular scene is one of the best flirting scenes from any movie. Unfortunately, the fuckers who uploaded the video clip won't let me embed it, so please check out Matt Damon as he flirts with Vera Farminga by going here. Click through, you don't want to miss it!

 

UK Commercial with male and female co-workers. This commercial is fun because it shows flirting that is intentionally provocative. It is also makes me laugh. 

 

 

Flirting scene from Perfect Couple. This show only ran for one season, and to be honest, I never watched it. However, this flirting scene is quite funny. People often become very nervous when they are flirted with or flirt with someone else. This scene is pretty genius in capturing nervous flirting. 

 

What Type of Flirt are You?

Ahhh flirting. The mere thought of it can make some break into a cold sweat. Others are so attune to it that they are at a loss of words for how to describe a concept that is innate to their being. 

I have no evidence of it, but I strongly suspect I came out of my mother and winked at the physician who delivered me. Funny story, the man who delivered me happened to be the same man who was my ob/gyn when I was in high school. There is actually a lot more to this story, but I'm just going to say that it's complicated.

(Can you spot the flirting behavior in this picture?)

So what the hell is flirting?

In a nutshell, flirting is a series of verbal and non verbal actions or behaviors we do when expressing interest in or attraction to another person.

(One of the most important aspects of flirting is being able to interpret body language)

Did you know that, in the Victorian era, flirting was deemed important enough that men and women (separately, of course) attended flirting school? I happen to find this fascinating and wish there were more information out there on the subject.  

In 2010, there was a University of Kansas in Lawrence study that identified 5 basic styles of flirting behavior. 

1. Physical Flirting—using playful touching to indicate sexual interest. This type of flirting involves physical chemistry and can quickly lead to an emotional connection and a relationship. 
2. Traditional Flirting—when men take the lead by approaching women they have sexual interest in, allowing women to maintain a more passive role.
3. Polite Flirting—using proper personal and social manners when communicating sexual interest. This is the most cautious way of behaving and can be so nuanced that interest can often go un-noticed.
4. Sincere Flirting—way of expressing sexual interest in others by using an honest approach in getting to know them. This behavior is more commonly used by women.
5. Playful Flirting—way of engaging with others in a lighthearted way without the intention of sexual interest. 

Can you identify your preferred flirting behavior? In some cases, you may have more than one flirting style. 

The Nitty Gritty of Profile Pictures

It seems like you can't sign up for an online service without a prompt asking you to upload a profile photo. 

Personally, I think that most people don't understand the importance behind having a few good pictures. As someone who has been told repeatedly that I don't photograph well, I get your anxiety over posting pictures of your mug for all to see. Sometimes people make it easier on themselves and post the same picture on a social media platforms. A nice side effect of doing this is that that you can quickly become personally branded. 

I'm someone who gets paid lots of money to give people advice on writing online dating profiles. I also coordinate a self improvement meetup called "Flirting, Dating, and Sex, Oh My!". This is a closed group for many reasons. Probably the most important reason for making my meetup closed is because I get to approve each and every person before they become a member. It doesn't happen often, but I do occasionally get cock shots and naked or near naked full body shots where the person is headless. I happen to have a huge tolerance for opening a profile or email and being greeted by a unannounced cock shot, but I'm guessing that most of the people in my group do not. 

But I digress.

Think of your profile photo as the single most important feature when you are dating online. People mill over profile photos in much the same way those people who are house hunting look at house photos. If a person doesn't like the exterior of a house (no matter how fabulous the interior is), they will likely move on. Quickly. It is essential that your profile pictures be pleasant to look at. You really don't want people looking at you and thinking "what the heck is going on with this person?", or "how nice! You post a picture of your dog on an online dating site, that is super helpful!".

Bad profile photos are all around you. A bad profile picture usually includes one or more of the following:

• A shot that was taken so far away that you can barely discern what it is you are looking at
• A picture of you standing smugly next to your fabulous and expensive car
• A picture where you think you look cool and tough, but end up looking douchey
• A picture of your dog or cat instead of you
• No picture at all (seriously, I can't make up this stuff!)
• A picture of you in your Comic Con outfit
• A picture that focuses on one specific asset. For women it is usually their breasts, and for men it is usually their chest or arms
• A picture where you are wearing sunglasses
• Any picture where you are in a group. The focus should be on you, and not your hotter friend(s)
• A picture of you and your underage child
• A picture of you where you look like it could be a mug shot
• A picture that only shows your eyes or profile

I also wrote a blog post about bad dating pictures that you can read here.

Enjoy my gallery of bad online profile pictures

  

   

     

This would not be a good profile picture for me to put on a dating site.Also, my husband probably wouldn't appreciate it. 

So what makes a great profile picture? 

You need not get a professional head shot for online dating. However, many people have them for their business, so it is common to see them thrown up onto dating sites. What is good about head shots is that they are clear, only include you, and *fingers crossed* you look pleasant, happy, and inviting. 

Enjoy my gallery of good online dating profile pictures

 

These would probably be good choices for dating profile pictures if I were to join an online dating site. 

The bottom line is that profile photos can make or break you when it comes to online dating. Dating ain't pretty. The amount of scrutiny we put on ourselves and others is kind of ridiculous. However, thems the rules. 

Having a great dating profile picture is just the tip of the iceberg. We haven't even gotten into how to craft an amazing online profile!

 

Wank You Very Much!

A new website has many people atwitter.

Heard of ThankYourWank.com? If not, I expect you will be seeing lots and lots of information on it soon. The thinking behind ThankYourWank is that you can publicly out whomever you last masturbated to. I signed up using my facebook account just so I can see what all the fuss is about. 

If you go to their about info, this is what you will find

We believe Thankyourwank.com is the next step in Social Media, making it a more democratic and open system than ever before! It’s a masturbation revolution!

If you've ever thought to yourself "Hmm.. I wonder if X ever thought of me while doing it.." then you've come to the right place!

Thankyourwank.com enables you to vote for people you masturbate to. By doing this you give something to them in exchange for all the wonderful times they've given you, you also get to see how many people do it while thinking about you. It's free, it's anonymous, and it's fucking awesome. What's even better is that you can sign up for mutual wank alerts. This means that if said person ever +1s you,BANG! you get a mutual wank alert.

So go ahead, +1 some of those wonderful people and hope that one of them +1s you!

Then there have been times when you meet a delicious personality and are like "Hi, how do you do.." ..mmm.. I'll be thinkin' of you later..(!) But then you forget. Never fear because we'd like to introduce you to our to-'do' list. Yes, that's right, we went ahead and created an organizer for masturbation. Organize your masturbation right away so that you never miss that essential wank, it's what the doctor advised! No more "it's time to fap, hmm.. who should I think of ?". With your to-'do' list, it's all there right in front of you!

Thankyourwank.com is all about satisfying that curiosity you’ve always had, helping you get through those blue days with a +1, building bridges between people and talking openly about something that’s always been fun!

Wank you very much!

I love masturbation! I think it is a wonderful way for you to understand what turns you on, how your pleasure physiology works, etc. Most of all, masturbation is a fantastic way to fantasize without those pesky guilty feelings that sometimes arise when you fantasize about someone or something else when you are engaged in sexual activity with your partner.

I love the ballsy nature of this particular website, but I'm not so sure I would want to be an active wanking participant. Here's the deal, as a sex educator who speaks to lots and lots people in person, I already know that many people factor me into their fantasizes. I'm totally ok with that. I feel that it kinda goes along with the territory since my personal sex educator style borders on TMI. However, that being said, I'm not so sure I want to see the actual faces of people who admit to using me for masturbatory purposes. It would be even weirder if I actually knew the person! 

I see the whole idea of ThankYourWank.com incredibly fascinating. In theory, if you are aware that I masturbated to you and that you masturbated to me, there is the possibility that things could move off-line and into real time sexual activity. They say it's anonymous, but never underestimate the computer prowess and ingenuity of a horny person! This might just be a really useful tool for people; a competition of sorts to the highly sexually charged world of craigslist.org. 

It's interesting to me that the people who have made the all-time "Hall of Wanks" (we're talking numbers over 1000) are surprisingly real, and not exactly what one might have in mind. Don't believe me? Check out this link. 

In short, ThankYourWank is a delightfully perverted and cheeky website that will likely get loads more media attention in the coming months. 

Boobs Are Mesmerizing!

I admit it that I really love breasts! Actually, if you are one of my friends, then I have very likely copped a feel or two or four. I'm not sure where it comes from really, but I'm fairly certain some therapist would have a field day with me as their client. 

I developed early and while I was still in grade school. I remember the kids snapping my training bra on many occasions. The grew steadily until my mid 20's and then they exploded into the size they are now. I find that I tend to touch my breasts quite a lot. Maybe it's similar to the way men adjust their ball sack. While I would love to have pert and perky b cups, that is just not in the cards for me. I decided long ago that getting a breast reduction is not the right choice for me. My breasts are full and dense. More than a few doctors have told me that detecting breast cancer in me will be challenging because of their denseness. Not exactly the type of thing you want to hear from your doctor.

Thinking about them, I guess my own breasts are more like a shelf that I can rest things on. Also, living with large breasts also makes for a very hot life, and I'm not talking about the "I'm so hot and sexy" kinda thing. My body temperature runs hot. I overheat very easily, and when I do, my secret is to place a frozen compress under my breasts to cool me down. It's not ideal, it's definitely not sexy, but it works for me. 

Remember how I once told you in an older blog post that I tend to "goose" people pretty indiscriminately? Well, it's also the case for boob touching. Totally inappropriate, right? Funny how I can instinctively tell who I can boob touch and who I would never even try to boob touch. It might take me awhile to get to know you before I strike, but more often it is pretty soon after meeting you for the first time. I'm kind of a touchy person to begin with, but something compels me to continually touch my friend's boobs. Believe me, it's not a sexual thing; it's more of a bonding thing. 

In all my years of boob touching, I have only felt a few that were physician enhanced. Fake
boobs can either be done very, very well, or very, very bad. I'm not a fan of the unnatural cantaloupes on your chest kind of look. I know that many people gravitate to this look, but it's not a look either myself or my hands find attractive. Here's a hint for those of you who might not be able to tell if the person you are with has had breast implants--if her boobs stick straight up when she is lying on her back, chances are high they are implants. For most women, lying on our backs tends to spread our breast tissue out and away from our sternum. 

Seriously, how completely unnatural do these look? 

 

This past week, my female friend commented that I'm a little like Dr. Cooper from the show "Nurse Jackie". On the show, Dr. Cooper has a nervous Tourette style inclination to touch the boobs of the woman he is speaking with. His issue is more anxiety based. I'm just a goosing and boob touching fool!

In case you aren't familiar with "Nurse Jackie", check out this video. You can see more by following this link.

 

And to all my beautiful friends who allow me to goose or boob grab them, thank you from the bottom of my perverted little heart! I'll grab ya soon enough. 

Don't Forget: My Month of Extraordinary Sex Teleseminar is Tomorrow

Just a friendly reminder that my segment on how to have extraordinary sex teleseminar with the Rabbi of Sex is tomorrow!

Thursday, July 28, 5:30 pm PDT

Extraordinary Techniques   Step by Step to Fully Embracing your Sexuality How to Connect with Your Sexual Self    with special guest Catherine Toyooka Sexuality speaker, educator, and coach      On our preview call last month, Catherine said, "We're too goal oriented in this society, 100% too goal-oriented. We're not pleasure-focused enough. And we forget that the journey is sometimes better than the destination."      This week, you'll receive tangible tips & tools on from Catherine on: Masturbation Body image & genital shame Oral techniques Toys Flirting We anticipate taking questions only through the conference call dashboard. Go here for more information on the teleseries and how to sign up.

How the Hell Do You Become Playful?!

I have to admit that I was momentarily stumped this week when a potential client asked me this question: "Can you give me an example of being playful?" Perhaps if you think about it, this isn't such an easy question to answer. Moreover, as someone who is extremely playful, it is a very difficult concept for me to verbalize let alone summarize into digestible points. 

For me, flirting and being playful with someone is strongly tied together. I don't necessarily use the words interchangeably as much as try to broaden someones conceptions about how they interact with others. Many people fear the word flirting, and my thinking is that asking someone to be more playful with others isn't as tough an assignment as telling someone to go out and "flirt" with others. 

Yes I'm the youngest child, so it makes sense that I grew up viewing the world in a different way. As the youngest, I was often the one that jokes were played on, and unfortunately for me, I didn't have a younger sibling to pay it forward, so to speak. It wasn't until I met my husband, who is an only child, that I really got to unleash my pent up pandora's box of tricks and pranks. To be fair, he is incredibly smart and intuitive (yes, even engineers can have this quality) and let me know that he was on to me very, very early on in the game.

I've often said that being me and living in my head can be incredibly fun for a variety of reasons. And while I don't have her steadfast dedication, I saw a staggering number of similarities between myself and Chelsea Handler in her newest book, "Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me". I don't generally lie because I honestly don't have the energy to maintain the amount of deceit needed to properly maintain a lie. Clearly, I am no politician. However, I will take delight in giving people inaccurate information if it is something that isn't directly related to my work. 

For example, the street I grew up on one was very much secluded. Many people who lived in the area their entire life didn't necessarily know my street existed. It got very light traffic, and the majority of it was people who had gotten lost on their way to their intended destination. I guess looking back, I felt almost violated when strangers found my house so I treated them accordingly. I was a teenager in the 1980's, so this was even before the concept of GPS devices were conceived. On more than one occasion I would send lost motorists in the opposite direction of their destination. If they were looking to go North, I would send them Southwest. I could never send anyone East because I lived extremely close to Lake Michigan, and they would have been on to me pretty quickly...especially if I sent them straight into the lake. So I would send them on their merry, misguided way knowing that they would probably never be able to find my house again if they wanted to nark on me to my parents.

More recently I was spending some much needed time with my BFF. We used to work together and now only see each other on occasion. So I like him to focus his time and attention on me when we are together. We were in his office when he got a phone call from a family friend on the work landline. Now, I should tell you that my best friend likes to talk. A lot. He is the most talky man I know and I sometimes compare him to a girl because of it. So there I was twiddling my thumbs (actually playing angry birds) with my legs up on his thighs during what turned into a very long phone conversation. When I deemed the conversation had gone on long enough, I decided to call his cell phone, which was apparently deep down in his front pocket but the ringtone was still very loud. So there I was, legs up on him, calling his cell phone, and him fumbling around trying to fish it out of his pocket while he was still on the landline. Most people would have probably stopped at 1 or 2 calls. I continued to call until he told his friend he had to go. When he ended the conversation and finally retrieved his cellphone, he began laughing and wasn't at all surprised at what I had done.

I recently met an amazing sex educator friend. We happened to both be in San Diego for a sexuality conference a few months ago, and were trying to coordinate what sessions we wanted to go to. I knew she wanted to attend one that was directly after the lunch break, and it turned out to be standing room only. I literally saved the only chair 2 seats down from me because I knew she was running late, but on her way. When she showed up, she texted me and thanked me for saving the seat for her. My reply text was "no problemo, I told them you were in the bathroom with explosive diarrhea". I heard her snort out loud as she was 2 chairs down from me. Yes, some people might find it uncouth behavior, but I love that she got my joke. I'm also delighted that we have become close friends and she never seems to mind when I goose her **see below** or even inappropriately ghost text her lover when she is in the restroom. 

When it comes to my husband, I find that it is near impossible to get anything past him. He is completely observant and always notices when I have gotten my hair cut, or am wearing new jewelry. I was bemoaning how my new iphone case doesn't connect to my car and that I needed to check out wireless/bluetooth adapters. This morning he mentioned that he could run out and look for one when I told him that I may or may not have already purchased one through amazon. He looked at me, laughed, and said, "wait, you may or may not have what?, sounds to me like you already purchased one". I guess I use this "may or may not have" saying often when it comes to our conversations.

Here are a few more examples:

• Well, if you think you have a virus on your computer, is it because you recently downloaded something you shouldn't have? 
• Why is our credit card company calling me to verify a hefty purchase at a jewelry store? Did you buy something when you were at (insert jewelry company here)?
• You know, a lot of these spyware apps get you when you go to porn sites? Have you been to any recently?

My husband just reminded me of a story I told him when we first met in college. I was 19 and interning a few days a week at a youth prison. I basically talked to the 2 or 3 prisoners who were assigned to me for tutoring in grade school level math and english. I kept the workbooks in my car for convenience. It must have been one of the first times I drove with him in my car. Not only did he notice the books, but he gave me a shocked and bewildered look because these are clearly not what you would expect from someone attending a fairly prestigious college. Now, I had already told him that I was very bad at math, and didn't want to talk about it because I quickly found out how crazily smart he is. When I saw him look at my books, I just looked him in the eye and said, "umm..remember how I told you how I'm really not good at math? Well, please, please, please don't make fun of me, but those are my books, and can we just drop it?" After what seemed like a pretty long and uncomfortable silence, I broke out laughing and told him that while I am very bad at math, those were the books I used to tutor the youth inmates. He looked at me like he had just dodged a bullet. 

I'm also known to goose people pretty indiscriminately. In fact, I've learned to walk up stairs after people because I got goosed so many times growing up. And if I happen to be walking ahead of my husband, I almost always say "no butt touchy". Speaking of goosing and the BFF, I recently managed to get one in as we were hugging goodbye. I got in way further than I expected and screamed out "omg, I got sphincter, I got sphincter!" which I then realized I had to apologize to the passersby for having to hear that. 

For what ever reason, it seems to me that the world is made up of 2 distinct people; those who can laugh at themselves and don't take themselves too seriously, and those who are incapable or unwilling to laugh at themselves. The bottom line is that an action like flirting or even being playful is going to be near impossible for someone who is the latter. 

What Happens When a Rabbi Gets a Bunch of Sex Educators Together

I know, this totally sounds like the beginning of a very bad joke, but let me assure you that this is no farce. Rabbi Yitz Miller is the founder and host of the "How to Masterfully Discern a Man's Integrity" program, and is known in the community as being the Rabbi of Sex. 

Full disclosure: As a sex educator, possibly nothing in the world makes me more uncomfortable than talking about religion and politics when it comes to sex and sexuality. However this program sounds incredibly intriguing so I've decided to put on my big girl panties and dive in. Even if you are someone who is not practicing a religion (how I identify, fyi) you may find this program to be insightful, entertaining, and educational. 

The program kicks off with a free preview teleseminar on Thursday, June 30, 2011 at 5:30pm PDT. My specific teleseminar will teach you how to integrate "Extraordinary Techniques" into your intimate relationships and is scheduled for Thursday, July 28, 2011 at 5:30pm PDT.

I will provide you with more specific details as they become available to me. However, it looks like registration is required and the entire month of teleseminar programming costs $97.00. 

Welcome to My World

Fans of my blog know that both my friends and I think of me as being totally gay. This is not at all meant to be taken in an uncouth, disrespectful, or hateful way. It's kinda just become my reality.

It occurred to me that, occasionally, I tend to speak a different language from the general public. The majority of it can be traced back to me spending hours and hours a day on the young LGBTQIQ chat rooms since  I helped pioneer internet outreach as a viable HIV/STI prevention technique in San Francisco.

This list is not all inclusive, and you can feel free to add what ever terms I may have missed. The vast majority of the terminology relates to gay sex and culture.

If you really want to see this code key in action, I strongly suggest you make your way over to the "casual encounters" and "men seeking men" area of craigslist.org.

I hope you can tell that I am NOT making any sort of judgment about what people may be into sexually. 

420 = pot smoking

Bear = gay man who is very hairy

Bend over Boyfriend = male partner who likes being anally penetrated by his female partner

BB = barebacking or not using a barrier (condom) during penetrative sex

BJ = blow job

Blunt = smoking marijuana

BBW = big beautiful woman

Booty Bumping = taking drugs (usually crystal meth) rectally

Bottom = likes receptive anal sex

BRB = be right back

BTW = by the way

Bug Chaser = someone looking to become HIV positive

Catcher = same as a bottom or someone who likes to be receptive when it comes to anal sex

CBT = cock and ball torture

Chicken Hawk = older gay men who are strongly attracted to younger gay men

Chubby Chaser = man who is seeking a partner who is large

Circle Jerk = group male masturbation 

Conversion Party = hosting a party whereas the HIV negative person is hoping to become HIV positive

CD = cross dresser

Cruising = going to a public location (like a bar or a park) with the intent of finding someone to have sexual activity

D/D free = drug and disease free

DL = down low

Docking = when someone who has foreskin pulls it over the penis that has been circumcised therefore "docking" one to another

Femdom = female domination

Fisting = inserting a hand into your partner's vagina or anus (some people can self-fist)

FWB = friends with benefits

FB = fuck buddy

GQ = gender queer

GFE = girlfriend experience

Glory Hole (GH) = hole in the wall (usually in public bathrooms) where men can have anonymous sexual activity with other men

Golden Showers = also known as water sports, and it is the act of urinating on a partner for sexual gratification

GL = good looking

Hirsute = excessive hairiness (usually when it comes to female pubic hair)

Host or Hosting = entertaining your friend at your place

HWP = height and weight proportionate

IMHO = in my humble opinion

ISO = in search of

J/O = jack off

Leather Daddy = dominant gay male who is in the leather community and likes to be a father figure for his leather play friends

LOL = laughing out loud

LTR = long term relationship

MSM = men who have sex with men

MSW = men who have sex with women

MST = men who have sex with transgender people

NMCF = naked men, clothed female

NP = no problem

NSA = no strings attached (meaning just sex)

Pegging = same as bend over boyfriend

Pitcher = same as a top or someone who likes to be the one who penetrates during sex

PNP = party and play (party usually means meth or other drug & play means sex)

Poppers = amyl nitrite (substance that you inhale at the time of penetration because it causes the anal and vaginal muscles to relax)

Poz = HIV positive

Raw = barebacking or not using a barrier for penetrative sex

R/T = real time

Rice and Potatoes = gay asian man who like caucasian gay men

Rice Queen = strong sexual attraction to asian men

Rimming = analingus or having oral/anal sexual contact

Slamming = injecting crystal methamphetamine

Snowing = cocaine 

Speed = crystal methamphetamine

Sr8 = straight 

Status = your HIV status, are you positive or negative

Sticky Rice = gay asian man who like other gay asian men

Suicide Tuesday = depression following a weekend of drugs use (usually crystal meth or ecstasy)

SSBBW = super size big beautiful woman

Switch = someone who likes to both receive and give penetrative sex

T Girls (Gurls) = male to female transgender woman

Taken = married or otherwise coupled

Tina/Chrissy/Christina = crystal methamphetamine

Top = likes to be the one penetrating the sex partner

Tranny = transgender individual

Tranny Chaser = someone who prefers to date transgender people

Travelling = meeting your friend at his place

Tree = smoking marijuana

Tweaker = someone who uses crystal methamphetamine

Twink = young or youngish looking gay boy (usually between 18 and 22 years old)

Wrapped = using a condom

X = ecstasy

Mensa Madness

As a dating coach living in Silicon Valley, it has been suggested to me more than a few times that I offer my services to local Mensa members. 

Mensa is a super select community whose membership is only open to people who score in the top 2% of IQ tests. You even have to prove your Mensa status by submitting test scores (in some instances you may be prompted to take an online test) if you want to be part of their online community. Apparently, there are about 2000 Mensa members living in the San Francisco Bay Area. 

I took a little looksee on their website today and had to laugh, and you will soon see why. The membership process seems a bit detailed and involved. Once a member, you are free to post your own events targeted to the community. However, this does not seem to be a simple process.

This is what is required to post an event:

TO LIST YOUR EVENT: Length limit: 120 words. Items can be submitted to the Calendar Editor, calendar/a/t/sfmensa.org or to the address listed on the inside back cover of the Intelligencer. E-mail or typed hard copy is preferred, but neat hand printing is acceptable. Items must be received by the deadline listed in the calendar to guarantee inclusion. Previously published items may be edited by phone (please call at a respectable hour of the day) at 650-325-xxxx, but hard copy or e-mail is preferred. Items must include host's name, date and time, and applicable codes (below), and should also include phone (including area code) or e-mail address. Location would be nice but is not mandatory; please include ZIP code if you give the location. Notices are published on a space-available basis subject to the discretion of the Calendar Editor. The policy for inclusion in the calendar is based on the SFRM bylaws.

But wait, it gets better!

This is the "code key" one must use to be in posting compliance:

CODES : 

BYOB bring your own beverage; 

CASBA clean air/smoke break agreement; 

CO clothing optional;

D/C dog / cat at residence;

FE fictitious event; 

FFE fragrance-free event; 

FFO finger food only; 

ISE irregularly scheduled event; 

LCR light carpet rules (no red wine or other staining substances - can also mean no shoes); 

MO members only; 

NC no children; 

NMPCW new members, prospects, and candidates welcome ("prospects," those who have inquired but not taken the test, and "candidates," those who have been qualified for membership); 

NMCW new and candidate members welcome; 

NS, S, S/NS. SO no smoking, smoking, provisions for both, smoking outside; 

NXM not an exclusively Mensa event; 

PC , NPC details in public calendar, not in public calendar; 

RSE regularly scheduled event;

WBC well-behaved children; 

WCD, WCE, WCI , WCP wheelchairs difficult, easy, impossible, possible.

Seriously?! Holy crap! 

While I have no doubt that my services could be hugely beneficial to this community, I'm not so sure it is a community I want to work with.

It takes an awful lot to shock me, but this code key thing makes me want to run away in the opposite direction.

*Sigh* It might be better for me to stay in my comfort zone. You know, the one that includes the gay hanky code.