As I try to ease my way back into blogging, I figured this kind of post would be mostly easy-peasy.
As you can see, I am a bit of a nutter.
- I had the most amazing wardrobe in high school and college. I never even wore jeans with any regularity until college.
- I recently purged about 1000 "friends" on facebook.
- I suffered from cystic acne as a young adult. They were so painful and large, that I used to say they had their own zip code. 6 months of Accutane worked.
- I own an ungodly amount of makeup, but only tend to wear lipstick, concealer, and sometimes mascara.
- For as long as I can remember, I have never wanted children.
- I had no clue as to what I wanted to be when I grew up. I only knew it would involve me being fabulous.
- I embarked on my most dysfunctional relationship when I was just 17 years old. Curiously, we had super hot sex. It was truly amazing.
- From time to time I use a high percentage salicylic acid cream on my body. Once, I forgot to wash my hands after applying and masturbated. I took me a minute to figure out why my vulval/vaginal area felt like Mississippi Burning.
- The prescription tube of topical retinol cream I use on my face looks nearly identical to the prescription tube I use for occasional yeast infections. I had locked and loaded a full dosage of the retinol cream into the yeast infection plunger.
Something didn't seem right to me. That's when I figured out I almost injected potent retinol cream into my very sensitive vagina. Holy fuck, that would have been exponentially worse than my Mississippi Burning incident.
- I fear that I will never discover the root of my anal fixation.
- Growing up, my family always had dinner at 7pm. We weren't allowed to watch TV or answer the phone. Being that my dad was a doctor, the hospital would page him if it was an emergency.
- I'm super picky when I comes to my face, and have spent a small fortune using both medical grade and high end skincare products. I've been a devotee of La Mer products since the 1990's. It works! I'm 43 and still wrinkle free!
- I've never once watched an episode of The Housewives, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, The Bachelor, American Idol, The Voice, and other uber popular reality shows.
- I refuse to watch any current TV shows that includes a laugh track.
- I wore my hair short all through junior high and high school.
- My hair is so thick that it can take me well over 30 minutes to dry it with a hair dryer. It's the main reason I let my hair dry naturally.
- As I've aged, my eyes have turned from brown to hazel. Seriously, I find that shit really weird and slightly disturbing.
- I always assumed people remembered me because of my uncommon last name. I've since been told that people remember my face.
- I have my ears pierced, but, other than that, I have no tattoos nor other piercings--why mess with perfection.
- I'm surprisingly domestic, and also a pretty good cook.
- I get migraines that are so terrible that I would welcome a doctor drilling a hole in my head to release the demons.
- I planned my 1995 wedding by myself. This was pre-internet, and auditioned possible string quartets via mailed cassette tapes. My wedding gown was
spectacular and custom made in England.
- Living in Colorado (1993 - 1999) depressed me. I'm not an outdoorsy type of person. Although it was quite scenic, I always felt trapped or suffocated my the mountains.
- I haven't taken a new sex toy for a spin in over 2 years.
- My celebrity crushes: Stewart Copeland, Idris Elba, Adam Brody.
If the video doesn't play, you can find a clip here.