You know that it occurred to me that "jazz" looks an awful like "jizz". Regardless, I've decided to go with it.
This time of year is usually pretty hectic for me. I have my birthday, the anniversary of dating my husband (it's also our wedding anniversary), and his birthday. Because we couldn't remember the exact date we met, we decided the end of the first week of October 1991 sounded right. I know I was dating him when my college had it's annual "fall break" in mid October. I was 20 at the time, and should really have a much better memory of the exact date, but, alas, I don't. I do remember the exact outfit I was wearing when I grabbed his arm as he walked by me. I basically stopped him in his tracks by grabbing his forearm and saying "come talk with me" with a smile.
I also clearly remember that my best friend and I did a little "recon" on him before I approached him. Granted he was a hottie and has beautiful full lips and crystal clear blue eyes. My husband denies this, but I could have sworn that I saw him holding hands with a girl during my recon. Bummer for me. I found out later that I must have been mistaken because he was not currently or had recently hooked up with any vagina owners at our colleges.
Maybe it's because I have never done drugs (nope, never even gotten close to inhaling...youngsters, that is a President Clinton reference) and have never been one who likes to drink a lot. Don't get me wrong, I Iooooves me a great cocktail or 3. I just prefer those that have 4 or 5 exotic ingredients, are made by someone professional. The only real downside is that my "girlie" drinks tend to run about $17 at most places. The point I was trying to make before my digression is that I tend to have a spot on memory. My mom told me that she had what many people referred to as a "photographic memory" when she was younger, but I never totally bought into that. Can you lose that ability as you age? Is there something about having multiple pregnancies that can do this to someone?
Now, back to my recon work. I've said this before and I will say it again; I most likely would not have approached my husband if I had known just how smart he is. I've never been one to deal with chronic low self esteem or insecurity. I do, however, tend to put an extraordinary emphasis on being school smart. It's not that surprising considering my father was an amazing anesthesiologist who worked up until he was 79, my mom was a nurse (that's how she met my dad), and both my sisters have their Master's degrees. I, on the other hand, never gave much consideration to graduate school once I graduated with my Bachelor's. My recon work failed to give me the information that might just have killed my dating mojo. It wasn't until we were already dating for some time when the full extent of what a smart fucker my husband really is. Back when we were in college, the internet was really only used by nerds for writing code and spending 10 minutes downloading one pixelated picture of pornography. If you wanted to learn something, you usually had to make a trip to the library. I guess the easiest way to describe him is that my husband is a bit of a walking Encyclopedia. Not only did he go to an academically rigorous undergraduate school, but I found out that many students (either openly or begrudgingly) attested to his high intelligence. I already knew he had plans on getting his PhD in Electrical Engineering.
There were many times where I simply wondered how on earth I could keep someone this hot and smart interested for the long haul. It took me a much shorter period of time to realize we were going to get married than it did for him, by the way. I mean, I know I'm fun to be around and am good for shits and giggles, but could I seriously maintain a relationship once he found out I was a pop culture/celebrity gossip whore, was often wildly inappropriate, a bit (ok, a lot) of a princess, and completely anally fixated?
I guess we were going to find out, and fast, because we got engaged in 1994 and he made an honest woman out of me in 1995. I knew that getting married at 24 was probably seen a bit of gamble. Statistics weren't and still aren't great for people who get married that young.
It is a bit mind-blowing to realize that today is my 18 year wedding anniversary. We've grown up together and have gone through many transitions together. This past October he was given a pretty horrific medical diagnosis. As fate would have it, it was during the exact time my dad, who had never had a major illness, was diagnosed with late stage lung cancer. I honestly had no idea my dad would very suddenly pass away the month after my husband's initial diagnosis. It was and is still excruciating for me to think that I wasn't with my dad when he passed. We were still deep in the process of getting comprehensive testing to find out what was wrong with my husband, and, more importantly, what to do about it. As of last week, I am thrilled to report that my husband has finally finished his 4 part treatment plan that lasted almost a year.
It's a strange thing to think that last year, we were celebrating our dating/wedding anniversary and didn't yet have a clue as to what we were about to face with his medical issue. With out a doubt, this whole experience has solidified our marriage. Don't get me wrong, there are still times when I seriously wonder why we are still together because I can so freely admit that I am in no way his intellectual equal. What I've learned, and this is mostly due to advocating and supporting him this past year with his medical issue, is that my emotional intelligence is off the charts like a motherfucker. For real. Even my husband has come to realize that his medical team is really called "Team Catherine", with him being the main player. You would think that I would be less shocked when ever he reads my mind, finishes my thought, or (much more likely) am up to something. I'm certain the look on my face reads like I am totally deflated that he knew what I was doing, and all he has to say to me is "...babe, I've been studying you for 22 years, don't be so surprised, I'm in your head!"