I'm one of those people who have never found the whole concept of grown-ass women calling their fathers "daddy" attractive. To me it is weird, kinda creeps me out, and (again this is my perspective) perpetuates a woman being "child-like". But, just because it's not my deal, doesn't mean that I don't get how this might really do it for someone else. Also, I find it curious that you almost never hear of grown men (some with their own children) referring to their mother as "mommy."
In case you haven't figured it out, I am someone who leans towards very dominant behaviors. Looking back, I think I have always been this way. I've even flirted with the idea of being a professional domme and attended an intensive training by some of the finest teachers around--yep, they really have that type of training! However, I pretty much figured out that the lifestyle wasn't a great match for me.
In the past and on occasion, I would find myself engaging in sexual activity with men who wanted to "top" me. What usually ended up happening was me laughing at them. Side note--laughing at someone when they are naked and after they have just given you explicit details of what they want to do with your body, is not great for a persons ego. It's not to say that I am firmly opposed to being dominated, but it would have to be the right person.
So, why am I bringing this up?
Sexual communication is the lube of a sexual relationship. Most of us are so unsure of what we want sexually that sometimes we find ourselves in sexual situations we hadn't anticipated. I know I've said this before, but the bedroom is not an ideal location to bring up a first time conversation about sexual wants, wishes, expectations, etc. And when I say "the bedroom", I am referring to when you and your partner(s) are already engaging in sexual activity.
Now, I know that some people might only feel comfortable talking about this sex stuff while they are all horny and excited...think of it as "horny courage". I'm someone who believes that it is totally ok and healthy to discuss the type of sex you are having (or wish to have) in locations other than the bedroom.
Here's the deal--most people want to give pleasure as much as they wish to receive pleasure. Not talking about the type of pleasure you crave can be a frustrating experience for everyone involved. It can also result in some pretty intense resentment. Being able to clearly communicate and/or negotiate the type of sexual activity you are interested in is sexy!
Sometimes, however, sexual communication can go horribly awry.
Here is my TMI:
I once had a sexual experience that was so strange, I am still puzzled by it years and years after it occurred. My partner was older than I, and it was our first time engaging in intercourse. Things seemed to be moving along pretty nicely. He was on top of me when I heard him speak these words "..I want you to say 'fuck me daddy'". I said, "hold up, what did you just say?". Again, he directed me to say "fuck me daddy". Ummmm, I'm not someone who is usually at a loss for words. This request, and remember it was totally out of the blue, made me declare "Game over!"
If he had mentioned this little piece of information prior to us engaging in sexual activity, I most likely would not have had sex with him in the first place. I would have been totally down with the "fuck me" part, as I tend to be pretty verbal anyway. It's the "daddy" nugget that threw me for a loop. Again, it's not that I think calling someone daddy is inherently gross. I can see how some people enjoy it. I can also see how some people can enjoy anal fisting, but that doesn't mean I desire to be on the bottom end of that equation.
Years and years after the incident above occurred, I happened to mention it to one of my good friends. At the time, my friend was very, very active in hooking up with men he met online. He is super funny, a bit manic, yet completely lovable.
This is what he told me. "Omg, I can't believe that I forgot to tell you that this totally happened to me not long ago! The guy was topping me and, while we were fucking, directed me to say "Fuck me daddy!" so my response was to buck like a horse and say "Fuuuuuuuck meeee daddddy, oooooooh fuuuuck meeeeeee daddddddy" but I kind of used a really sarcastic voice and really went over the top in saying it. He got pissed, stopped fucking me, put on his clothes, left, and I never heard from him again."
I know I'm not doing justice in properly relating to your how my friend said what he said, but trust me it was loud, fabulous, and hilarious! It's something I could totally see him doing, too. In my mind I pictured those mechanical bulls at western themed bars, and he confirmed I was pretty spot on. Incidentally, he also thought it was strange to ask or direct the person you are fucking for the first time to say "fuck me daddy" without any prior discussion. Now, I should explain that this person has had loads of sex with loads of people, and has taken many, well, loads.
Having a bout of verbal diahrrea while engaging in sexual activity can be a real deal breaker for some people. It can also be a trigger for other people who have been sexually assaulted by their father or another father-figure as they were growing up.
These can be teachable moments for everyone involved (if you think about it). It is an opportunity for people to learn when and how to better articulate what really gets them hot. It can also teach someone what they are not into sexually.