I would first like to make a confession that I am one of those people who buys those deliciously awful tabloid magazines like US and OK. It started years ago, and after a long day of dealing with the issues facing HIV positive youth and a 90 mile commute, I really looked forward to going home and turning off my brain.
One thing I can't stand, and you would have thought couples would have learned by now, is when celebrities gloat about how perfect their Hollywood marriage is. Seriously, it is like the kiss of death when it comes to celebrity couples.
It is completely ridiculous to me that two grown people will talk, tweet, and/or facebook about how perfect and in love their relationship is. Instead of making a person seem sweet and genuine, it tends to make someone look desperate. Instead of making a person appear to be confident in their relationship, I believe they are subconsciously saying "see how loveable I really am!" When the relationship goes south, and it almost always does, it is the same freaking celebrities asking the public to "respect their privacy during this difficult time".
Ain't that some shit.
Pretty much all I hear in my head is this: "We will talk in excruciating detail about how much we love each other and maybe even dish on how hot our sex life is, but how dare you expect me to answer questions surrounding why the relationship ended!"
This is where I call bullshit on celebrities. You can't have it both ways.
I am confident that I am not the only person who was sick of hearing about how lovey dovey Ashton and Demi's relationship was. Due to their constant praise for each other, I now know that they like to watch tv shows while naked in their bed, and that Ashton believes that he is basically a freaking accessory (yes, like a handbag or shoes) to Demi's outfits. And even though I follow neither of them on twitter, I somehow have the knowledge that Demi's twitter handle is "Ms. Kutcher". Apparently this isn't the first time cheating allegations have been swirling around these two. From what I have picked up from the magazines is that Ashton had been accused of cheating in the past but that Demi chose to stand by her man. It's not so easy now that there is photographic evidence. I don't care how good an actor you are, you don't have a lot of ground to stand on when pictures enter the equation.
As of the time I am writing this blog post, neither have filed for divorce. I would not be surprised to see an announcement in the near future about their separation. However, I do hear that they have been engaged in marriage counseling through Kabbalah. You know, because Kabbalah marriage counseling worked so well for Madonna and Guy Ritchie. That, my friends, is sarcasm.
There have also been preliminary reports that another Hollywood couple may be heading towards spiltsville. Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber, although never married, are raising two children together. Reports are that Liev cheated on Naomi during the same weekend Ashton allegedly cheated on Demi. I admit that Naomi and Liev do not shove their relationship down our throats the way Ashton and Demi did. However, I just read a quote where Naomi basically said they didn't necessarily need to get married because you can't get any more committed to someone then when you raise kids together.
It may not seem like it, but I take little joy in pointing out the obvious when it comes to celebrity relationships. However, no one likes a gloater. Relationships can be very difficult to navigate. Talking about them so publicly can really set you up for failure.
Am I proposing that all celebrities stop talking about their love-lives? Absolutely not! My gossip mags would get pretty darn thin if that were to suddenly start happening. However, I do think a little common sense is in order.
Honestly, if I were married to a celebrity and he was accused of cheating, my stance would be "Yes, I am aware of him being with someone else. We have an agreement in our marriage that allows for this, so it isn't actually cheating is it?" When things are less sensationalized, the media becomes bored very easily. It may, on the other hand, open up an entire new can of worms as people would be very curious about the openness of your marriage. Even if this wasn't the actual agreement and he cheated, I would still go with this game plan and then deal with the matter privately. Don't ask me why I've thought about this particular situation so much, because I have no good answer for you.
In closing, remember that no one likes a gloater. Back when Jen and Brad were still a couple, I remember reading an article where Brad likened their marriage to "doing naked cartwheels". We all know how that situation ended.
My plea to celebrities is to enjoy and cherish your relationships for how ever long they last. But, for the love of god, don't open yourself up to so much public scrutiny by gloating about how great things are. Also, if you had once exuberantly talked about your fabulous relationship and it is now kaput, don't walk out of an interview if you are asked about why your relationship ended.