Let's face it, the world is filled with ordinary people. The world needs people who blend into the background and never make waves, but it can also make someone kinda beige or (I'm going with a fast food reference here) John or Jane McPlain. I've been accused of being a lot of things, but plain ain't one of them.
Having a personal "signature" can help you rise among the rest when you are dating just as much as it can set you apart in your work life. As a dating coach, I come into contact with lots of people I refer to as "McPlain". They are perfectly nice and pleasant, but end up being too safe. Safe can be boring when you are vying for someones attention in the dating world. When I meet people, I tend to size them up pretty quickly. I can usually tell (pretty successfully, I might add) what type of business they are in, what type of car they might drive, where they buy their clothing, etc.
McPlain individuals are only memorable to me in that they are so generic. This may sound a little harsh, but I am also aware that someone will form a first impression about you in less than the first 2 minutes of meeting you. It may be beyond your comfort level to find what makes you uniquely you, but it will also make you memorable.
For as long as I can remember I have always loved sparkly things! Growing up I had a jewelry collection that was quite astonishing. I'm lucky that I tend to like pieces that are really well made, so I can still wear pieces from high school 20+ years after I graduated.
Guess what? I still love sparkly things! I wear a mix of the real deal and high quality costume jewelry that always gets me noticed. Sparkly jewelry is one of my "calling cards", and it makes me memorable.
When it comes to business, I have always set myself apart by sending hand written notes (yes, these are actually hand written and not a generic send out card) to people who have been particularly helpful to me. When I finally get to meet the helpful person in the flesh, they always comment on my personal, handwritten note.
As my disposable income began to rise, I started sending small but very thoughtful presents. I am someone who tends to get a lot of expensive sex toys for free. I love it! I love the products and sometimes can not believe at how fortunate I am! Without fail, I make a point to send the individual person or company a lovely gift basket or a bouquet of fabulous flowers. I'm guessing that a few people reading this blog post have received some sort of unexpected gift from me.
Here is an example that might make things a little more clear. I was recently asked to be a part of an amazing live podcast. Seriously, I felt like the sex gods were giving me a gentle under-the-chin nudge. I'm also someone who remembers things in great detail. When wondering about what to send this person as a thank you for having me be part of the podcast I did a little thinking. I had lunch with her and remembered that she went crazy for the brownies. Ok, so brownies are probably a good choice. But wait, is she allergic to nuts? I thought back to the drive to the podcast and how she was munching on a nut mix. Eureka! I just discovered the perfect gift for this person...gourmet brownies!
I know that not everyone has the ability or desire to send expensive gift baskets or flowers to people. Serously, I get it. I'm just trying to illustrate my point about what makes me unique. For me it's sparkly things, being thoughtful, and generous. It works for me, so I'm not going to change what isn't broken.
When crafting your personal signature, you are the expert. People have probably brought up attributes about you time and time again, but you never put it together as being your personal signature. Here are a few examples of what can become your personal signature:
- Dressing a certain way (maybe you love retro clothing or always wear a certain color). If you know the celebrity Niecy Nash, then you already know her signature style is wearing a silk flower in her hair when she is on camera. Always.
- Wearing your hair a certain way. Long, short, curly, straight, faux hawk, etc. can all become part of your signature style. I have a friend who I don't see often but I can always pick her out of a crowd (even with her back towards me) because of her beautiful flowing red hair. Of course, she is memorable for many other reasons, but I now think of her and that gorgeous head of hair.
- Maybe you are someone who is always willing to help people out, volunteer, or lend a hand. This is a wonderful way to make yourself memorable in a way that doesn't involve money.
- Maybe you have the ability to make the people you talk with seem like they are the only person in the room.
- Maybe you are super klutzy or not super coordinated. Embracing your lack of coordination can make you incredibly endearing to others.
About 20 years ago (yes, I'm old) the company Revlon had an amazing advertising hook that, in my opinion, died way too early. Their slogan was "Revlon, what makes you different can make you beautiful" I will never understand why this particular ad went away so quickly, but it is a slogan that has always stayed in the back of my brain.
Remember that you can be someone who is memorable but not always in the good way. For example, many people love a certain fragrance or cologne and make everyone they come in contact with aware of it. When it comes to things like cologne and makeup, my general rule of thumb is less is more. Also, as someone whose migraines are triggered by some fragrances, I will always attribute you into a negative outcome.
It might take some trial and error before you permanently leave the world of John and Jane McPlain. Sometimes cultivating a personal signature takes effort, and a little trial and error. Don't be afraid to experiment or ask your friends for help in narrowing down what makes you uniquely you.
What is YOUR signature style? Feel free to comment below.