I've been in the field of sex education since 2002. For a huge portion of that time I was deeply active in the San Francisco HIV/AIDS provider community. I specialized in directing prevention strategies within a niche community called "prevention with positives". For people unfamiliar with the concept, it can be difficult to understand. Basically, I would work with HIV positive youth by helping them navigate the crazy health care and other entitlement system, as well as providing sex education around how they can lower the chance of spreading HIV to others.
Even though I was doing sex education every day, no one ever asked me questions around what type of sex educator I was. Some of my workshops were specifically for the HIV positive community, but a huge portion were to people who have never been tested for HIV or STI's. Still, no one ever joked to me about how they wanted to be the live demo, and no one ever asked me if I did hands on work.
I noticed that people suddenly reacted to me differently after I left the HIV/AIDS community and began my company, Catherine Coaches. Now it is a very common thing for men to joke with me about how they want to be my live demo model in my sexuality workshops. This is never more true than when I post facebook/twitter updates about my upcoming oral sex workshops. Men respond as if on cue.
I'm not sure how much more clear I can make it that I am not a hands on sexuality educator. I use diagrams, puppets, sex toys, and hand outs. I don't use live demos. Ever. That is way beyond my comfort zone, and I'm not so sure participants would learn any better if I used a hands on modality.
Here is a short video I made. Think of it as my simple request.