Believe you me, this is a question I often ask myself.
Is it because I was potty trained too early? Was I potty trained too late? Maybe it's because growing up my father was (and still is) an Anesthesiologist and my mom was a former nurse so talking about bodily functions at the dinner table was nothing new.
All I know is that it is a rare day when I am not talking about things going into or coming out of either mine or someone else's ass. Or as my best friend calls it, "arse". Unlike myself, he has a huge aversion towards anal activity and in particular rimming. When last I brought it up, he told me "I don't need intestinal parasites, thank you very much!"
We have already covered the fact that I enjoy the idea of anal much more than the actual reality of anything anal.
Whatever the case may be, I happen to know a whole hell of a lot about anal health, pleasure, and sex. When I worked at the San Francisco youth non-profit, who do you think almost everyone went to when they wanted to talk about all things pertaining to ass? **picture me pointing my thumbs back at my smiling face**
And I can tell you from being on the front lines that there is a whole lot of anal warts being passed around certain communities. Anal warts, in case you aren't familiar, are a real public health issue. At one point of another, you may have seen medical photos of anal/genital warts. They are much different from hemorrhoids because they look more like cauliflower (warts) than grapes (hemorrhoids). However, like hemorrhoids, anal warts can be both external as well as internal.
But how do you know that you have internal anal warts? I'm just going to say that, regardless of your gender, age, or sexual preference, if you engage in unprotected anal activity, you should be getting an anal pap smear on a regular basis. Internal anal warts are often best seen by swabing the inside of your rectum with vinegar. Weird, I know! The vinegar allows the physician to identify internal anal warts because it will turn a milky white color. Doctors also have all sorts of expensive and handy equipment which allows them to scope the inside of your rectum and the visual comes up on a big screen which they can see and even take pictures of.
**And even if it is YOUR rectum and anal warts, physicians are not "glamour shots" photographers, and will generally not be excited to offer you copies of the pictures even if you ask.**
But anal warts aside, why am I still so intrigued by asses?
Maybe it's because it is dirty and taboo. Did you know that the anus is a hungry orifice? It's true! The rectum has 2 separate sphincters and they can often work in opposition of one another. So while you have good control of your lower/bottom anal sphincter (go ahead and give it a little squeeze), your other sphincter has a mind of it's own. Why is this important to know? Well because thousands of foreign objects are retrieved by ER doctors every year. The most commonly retrieved "ass objects" are jars and bottles. That is why it is imperative that anything you play with anally has a base or a flange! Remember the anus is a hungry orifice. In my workshops, I usually tell people to visualize that game "hungry, hungry hippo".
Moreover, there is a place in the colon which is commonly referred to as the "point of no return". It usually happens when the object moves up and around the right hand curve into the colon. That means that no amount of wishing, hoping, and straining will make the object come back down. This is when a medical intervention is called for. For many unfortunate people, this means emergency surgery where they retrieve the foreign object by going through your stomach. Other lovely side effects can be wearing a colostomy bag for several months while everything heals....sexy, yes?
That I continue to be anally fixated for no real apparent reason
That I know far too much about anal health and foreign object retrieval
That the anus is a hungry (think hunry, hungry hippo) orifice
That I can easily write a 700 + word blog post on the topic of anal adventures first thing on a Monday morning