As a sexuality speaker, I end up presenting a fair amount of workshops on the topic of flirting. It's a natural choice for me since flirting has been an integral part of my personality for as long as I can remember. Basically, I flirt with everyone.
In fact, my friends who are currently reading this are probably thinking to themselves "Damn, Catherine does flirt a lot!"
What most people don't think about or realize is that flirting is a skill one can learn. But what is flirting? Flirting is a series of verbal and non verbal actions we do when we express interest in or attraction to another person.
- Often subconscious
- Involves displaying & being able to read body language
Flirting is not:
- Seduction because sex is not the goal
- Manipulative since great flirts are always sincere and honest in their flirting prospects
- A power play since great flirts never engage in a conversation with someone just to hear their own voice. (Great flirts understand that conversation is a give and take)
- Dishonest because it is not a game to play to see how many phone numbers or free drinks they can get
If you want to become a really great flirt, you need to keep a few goals in mind.
- Focus your time, energy, and attention on your interest, not yourself
- Flirt to be fun and playful and not just to try to get a phone number or date
- Learn to make flirting second nature by interacting with everyone regardless of your romantic interest in them
- Flirt so you can figure out your own personal flirting style or zone
Remember that flirting is fun, light, and playful! Not everyone will be open to your flirting energy (about 1/3 of your attempts will not be reciprocated), but by flirting with everyone, you will learn to better handle rejection.
Now go out there and flirt!