Yeah, I get this a lot. When people ask me this, I am often searching their face to see if they mean to ask me "...do you have sex with your clients?" Let me be clear here that I have absolutely no problem with sex workers and feel that they are hugely under-served and grossly misunderstood. I know many, many friends who either are doing or have done sex work.
Sex coaching is a concept that even my family doesn't really get. One of my in-laws asked me if I needed to get a specific license to touch my clients. When asked if she was asking me if I sleep with my clients, my other in-law came to her defense by saying "...well I can imagine there are a multitude of reasons you might need to touch someone during your work." Interesting, I said, and then asked for just 2 or 3 examples of what the hell they were getting at. Huge shocker that I got no answer from them and then was told that we should drop the subject because I "clearly didn't want to talk about it". Nothing could have been further from the truth, and I wanted to use that time to educate them about my job. Alas, that was the last time I have shared a meal or even spoken to them.
I also know that there are a variety of "sex coaches" out there, and my attempt is to educate and inform you so you know what it is I do with Catherine Coaches clients.
Sex coaching uses a present centered, short-term process. So while it is useful for me to know about any past or current sexual traumas, I am not a therapist or a doctor. Sex coaching is also not talk therapy. I feel that it is an empowerment process and I help set the stage for positive change by providing a confidential, non-judgmental, and sex-positive environment so that you can authentically examine your sexual wants/needs/desires.
All my clients fill out a lengthy and confidential initial assessment which helps them to verbalize, face, and prioritize their challenges when it comes to sex and sexuality. The assessment often brings about an "a-ha" moment for clients when they are able to communicate what their fear, hang-ups, and issues are. The assessment is also hugely helpful to me since it helps me figure out if they are coachable, if their goals are reasonable, and how many sessions we might need.
One of the biggest gifts a sex coach gives a client is permission. Sex coaching literally gives someone permission to see themselves as a desirable and sexual creature. Knowing that sex is absolutely normal and natural, sex coaching also gives someone permission to give and get pleasure, masturbate, explore fantasies, and really re-connect with their bodies in a very authentic way. That's some pretty powerful stuff, huh?
As a sex coach, I tend to spend a lot of time educating my clients on pleasure physiology. You might be surprised to find out just how many people are unaware of how their body works, let alone how the sex stuff operates.
I have a vast array of pictures, diagrams, and even vulva and butt puppets so clients can grasp their own pleasure anatomy in a very playful, medically accurate, and tangible way. It is also a fantastic way to show clients how one would use a variety of sex toys in either solo or partnered lovemaking.
There is no touching when it comes to my version of sex coaching. No sexy version of "I'll show you mine if you show me yours", and definitely no playing "doctor".
The majority of my sex coaching clients either suffer from low/no sex drive, premature ejaculation, or an overall uncomfortable feeling when it comes to sex. Many of my clients report that they very seldom masturbate. I also get quite a few clients who are looking to up their game, so to speak, and want to know how they can become a more desirable lover.
When it comes right down to it, the majority of what I do as a sex coach is provide my clients a safe space where they learn the skills to better communicate around the topics of sex and sexuality. Sex coaching helps demystify and normalize a subject that is often considered taboo. Sex coaching helps clients find their sexual voice and for them to be able to communicate that to their partner in a positive, non-confrontational way. It can also help clients re-define what sex means to them (for instance, sex doesn't always have to mean penetration and orgasm).
Sex coaching....it's really a great thing!
Please contact me to set up your FREE 20 minute phone consultation or to begin your amazing sex coaching journey with me.