If you know me, then you are already aware that I am somewhat of an unruly person. Just like that awesome perfume commercial used to say, I go my own way!
Even so, there have to be some basic ground rules when it comes to dating. Full disclosure here, I have never read "The Rules Book", and this post is not about things you absolutely MUST do if you want to deem yourself dateable.
All that being said, here are some general guidelines when it comes to having a memorable, kick-ass first date.
- Practice active listening. Yep, I've talked about this LOTS before, and it is a great way to get to know someone. Listen to what they say and also the way in which it is being said.
- A first date is not the time or place to try out a new haircut, or dare I say "bumpit". You want to look attractive and like yourself, but don't want to look like you've spent all day getting your hair "did". Figure out what is your best physical feature, and then focus on that.
- Don't bring up the following topics on your first date: exes, politics, religion, debt, and addiction(s).
- Piggy-backing on the last point, you should never have more then 2 alcoholic beverages when on a first date. If you happen to be a sober addict, you don't have to explain why you are only drinking water. If you happen to be a light drinker, then stick to only one alcoholic beverage. Remember that no one likes a messy drunk for a first date!
- If you are the person who asked for the date, then expect to foot the bill. If the other person insists on paying, then all the better! However, if you are woman who asked a guy out on a first date, don't come crying to me about how he expected YOU to pay. Thems the way the cookie crumbles, darling.
- Don't get carried away with the old "love at first site" trapping. Seriously, I don't know anyone under 60 years old who claims this urban myth to be fact. There can be lust at first site, but love at first site, I don't think so.
- Don't worry if the first date isn't overly romantic. Romantic first dates are something that occurs in Hollywood movies, reality television, and fiction. Since it's just the first date, focus on having a good time and living in the moment.
- Keep an eye out for potential deal-breakers. Being rude to waitstaff, constantly checking their phone for texts and calls, and general douche-bag behavior is never appropriate for a first date.
- If you like the person, tell them! If the person you are on a date with is mirroring how you are sitting, giving you good eye contact with lots of encouraging smiles, then chances are good that they like you too! Go out on a limb and tell them you are having a good time and diggin them.
- Be conscience of your own body language. If you like them then make sure your body language matches your emotions. We all know people who confuse the hell out of us because they send mixed signals. For the love of god, don't be that person!
So there you have it my lovelies. Commandments? Not so much. General "good practice" guidelines, yes please!
Catherine is also the organizer of a monthly meetup.com group called "Flirting, Dating, and Sex, Oh My!", and we are scheduled to meet next on 5/19/10.
Please contact her to arrange your FREE 20 minute phone consultation.