Confidence. It's something I have always possessed. I'm not really sure where it came from, but I often have enough to spare. As a dating coach and sex coach I think that confidence might just be the number 1 secret of attractive people. Confidence can transform an otherwise "average" person into a "I must know you" person.
When someone is confident, it usually means they are pretty comfortable with themself. Many people flock to confident people because, as by osmosis, being in their presence can make you feel comfortable with yourself. Kind of a hard concept for me to describe, but I think you get the general gist of what I am saying.
If you are trying to attract someone, there are some simple body language shifts you can make so that you are perceived as being confident. Just like dogs can smell fear, men and women can smell desperation, insecurity, and trepidation.
Across the board, people who are considered to be confident and therefore attractive usually know how to use body language well.
Here are a few suggestions you can use, alter, and make your own that will help you in the confidence department:
- Learn to stand up straight. People who slouch often give the impression they are personally and emotionally deflated, uncomfortable, and generally not happy.
- Learn to look people in the eye. People who are unable to hold direct eye often give others the impression they are disinterested, nervous, or even lying.
- Walk like you mean it. Even if you are unsure of your surroundings, act like you know where you are going. Incidentally, many perpetrators seek out their potential victims by gageing a person's body language. They look for people who seem distracted and/or people who look like they will not put up a fight. Now, you don't have to sashay your fabulous self down the street, but try walking as if you are being filmed or photographed...this will ensure you walk with your head high and your shoulders back.
- Train yourself to not fidgeting. Fidgeting is a huge sign of being nervous and insecure. Fidgeting can also be super annoying to other people, so try your best to control it when you are around others.
- Perfect the way you stand. Yes, this may seem silly, but how you stand can have a lot of influence in the way others view you. If you aren't sure where to begin, start by standing with your feet less then shoulder-length apart and place one foot slightly behind the other. When trying to attract someone, never stand with your arms crossed in front of you. Closed arms = closed person, and you want to adopt a more open and welcoming stance.
- Learn to take a compliment. I meet so many people who don't know how to take a friggen compliment. Sometimes I have to stop them and tell them "...just say thank you, Catherine." Learning to take compliments doesn't necessarily mean you are stuck up and conceited. It shows you are comfortable with yourself and aware that you are unique. Do me a favor and the next time someone pays you a compliment, smile and give them a sincere thank you.
- Smile damnt! Seriously, just the simple act of smiling can make you feel happy. Plus, smiling uses less muscles then frowning, so it's technically easier to smile!
She is also the organizer of the monthly meetup.com group called "Flirting, Dating, and Sex Oh My!" She has several workshops scheduled in the upcoming weeks, and would love to meet you in person! You can also find her on twitter @catcoaches, facebook, and yelp.
Contact her to arrange your FREE 20 minute consultation.