As a dating coach and sex coach, I get the benefit of hearing a lot of dating war stories. Usually the date begins out well....he shows up on time, looks presentable, and only seems slightly nervous.
All too often, women do not recognize the warning signs a date gives her....even when they are pretty darn blatant! Here are a few signals men put out when they are not feeling you on the first date:
1) They are pretty quiet and don't talk much. It's a fact that people love to talk about themselves! Sure some men are just nervous around a woman they desire, but they usually are able to engage somewhat into the conversation. It's a bad sign if, on the first date, you are the one doing all the talking. If a man is interested in you, he will often ask open ended questions as a follow up to something you have said. If a man is just sitting there listening, that usually means that he can't be bothered enough to even take part in the conversation. This can be kinda tricky to figure out if he is just being polite or if he is truly not interested. To figure out how he feels, ask him an open ended question. If he answers yes or no, there's your trouble!
2) He is the one to end the date. A man will often do what ever it takes to remain in your company a little longer. He will walk you to your car, walk you to yourdoor, ask to use your bathroom, etc. A man ending the date is a huge sign that he is not interested in spending 5 more minutes with you, let alone another date.
3) He is easily distractable, texting, or taking phone calls while on the date. A man who is truly interested in you will focus all of his energy, adoration, and focus on you. If he begins texting his buddies, you can be pretty sure that he no longer sees you as a viable match, and is, in essence, moving on. Even the most powerful and successful man can set aside 3 hours for a woman he is completely smitten with.
During the quest for love, sometimes we are way too lenient with behavior we allow others to get away with. Especially as women, we can easily explain away bad behavior in our attempt to find a potential mate. If you take the above examples, one could plausibly say that the man is nervous and shy and is distracted about his work or an early meeting or conference. In fact, all too often, the signs/behaviors/signals others are giving us are right in front of our face. It's a shame we don't often acknowledge behavior for what it is.
As the founder of Catherine Coaches, Catherine Toyooka is a bloggger(duh!), sexuality speaker, educator, dating coach, and sex coach helping busy professionals living in Silicon Valley, San Francisco, and beyond.
She is also the organizer of the monthly meetup.com group called "Flirting, Dating, and Sex Oh My!" She has several workshops scheduled in the upcoming weeks, and would love to meet you in person! You can also find her on twitter @catcoaches, facebook, and yelp.
Contact her to arrange your FREE 20 minute consultation.