I currently reside in Silicon Valley, and I have to admit that I really enjoy it! This area has tons of people who can probably be best be described as nerds, geeks, technical types, etc. How do I know? Well, I am married to one for starters. I met my husband back when he was an undergraduate student at Harvey Mudd College in Claremont, CA. He later went on to earn his PhD in electrical engineering. Yes, we are kind of a funny couple, but that is not the point to this blog post. I want it to be very clear that I really enjoy geeks, and my intention is NOT to be disparaging.
If you are living, dating, and loving in Silicon Valley, then the chances are high that you have experience with dating geeks. And unless you have an unusually high geek-dar, it might not always be evident that you are on the precipice of dating one.
This list is not inclusive, and not all geeks, nerds, techies, will display these behavioral traits. On the other hand, geeks are also creatures of habit, so keep your eyes out for the following tips:
1. He or she will strongly prefer to correspond with you via email, text, or instant messenger before meeting you in person. These forms of communication are much less intimidating then talking on the phone or...egads....meeting in person. If you want to meet them in person, then it will probably be up to you to suggest a time and location. If you do suggest to meet in person, keep it low key. No parties, fancy restaurants, or chick flicks!
2. His or her freezer is stocked with hot-pockets, pizza rolls, bagel bites, and the like. Also be suspicious if their car has evidence of fast food remnants. Geeks love food they can grab and go. It means they can eat it in front of their computer, while taking a video game playing break, or pick up a quick dinner on their way home from work. Basically, nerds shy away from elaborate meals which can take them away from what they are doing.
3. He or she dresses like they are still in college. As I mentioned before, nerds are creatures of habit. It is not uncommon for them to keep and wear (if it still fits) clothing they purchased 10 or more years ago. What you see: clothing that is discolored, way dated, and wrinkled. What they see: comfortable clothing that is still perfectly fine to wear. Sure it may not be stylish, but that is most likely because it was never in style.
4. He or she isn't the quickest at picking up social cues. I hesitate to include this one, because not getting social cues can also fall on the autism/aspberger syndrome spectrum. This might come up when you are tapping your toes and waiting for them to get the lead out and get ready to go. You may be thinking that I told him/her that we had to leave the house in 30 minutes. They are probably thinking "why are you purposefully distracting me when I still have 3 minutes and 45 seconds left to play this game, according to my estimate". This is where you need to step up and really be direct with them instead of wishing, hoping, or realizing that they understood what you meant.
5. He or she freaks out when you touch their things or interrupt them during their activities. Geeks hate it when others touch, re-arrange, or even clean their things. Want to know if they are a hard-core nerd? Casually move a pile of papers or attempt to alphabetize their games. A nerd will begin to twitch and get agitated if they can't find what they are looking for...after all, they have a system for things! Similarly, do not interrupt them while they are playing a computer or video game. You may think they can just look up and begin a conversation, but you would be wrong! Most games have an automatic save feature, but you have to get to that part in the game before it can be done. Seriously, you may not think it is a big deal, but games are very important to a geek girl or boy. Games may not be important to you, but it is important to them.
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As the founder of Catherine Coaches, I am a blogger (duh!), sexuality speaker, sexpert, and a dating and sex coach helping busy professionals living in Silicon Valley, San Francisco, and beyond. Find out more about me and my services by visiting my website.