My 20th high school reunion is coming up in a couple weeks, and I won't be attending. When I first got the notice of it, I just assumed I would attend....after all, I did attend my 10 year reunion and that was quite a bit of fun. People had always told me that there is a HUGE difference (more fun I guess) in seeing people age between the 10 year and 20 year reunion, and thanks to the magic of facebook, it's relatively easy to see the effects that time have had on people.
I was fortunate to graduate from one of the best public high schools in the nation. New Trier High School had a lot of amazing extra-curricular activities, a ton of money, and was ideally located only a few blocks away from Lake Michigan. I never truly appreciated how lucky I was to have attended such an amazing high school until I went away to college. Most people were absolutely stunned at the size of my grade...I believe my graduating class had over 740 people! My school was simply too large to have homecoming and prom kings and queens. I was never popular enough to have had been a prom queen; I much preferred to float between the high school caste systems and never really being pegged into one particular category.
(senior portrait 1989)
Looking back now, I guess it is pretty easy for me to see how little my personality has changed. I have always been incredibly curious about others, a huge flirt, and loved to talk about sex. I have to admit that there are a few people from high school who aren't on facebook that I am curious to find out about. You would be surprised at how much information you can gather from someone's facebook profile. Of course, there was always an unspoken expectation that the majority of my classmates would go on to achieve good things. Some are minor celebrities, and several went on to own their own companies, become venture capitalists, media producers or even hit it rich with the dot.com boom. Most look like they have healthy and happy families, and some, like me, have remained child free.
There are a couple surprises though, and by surprises I mean it looks like a few of the guys I went to school with procured themselves some "trophy" wives. Yes, perhaps that is a little mean to say, but I honestly don't remember these guys being particularly good looking, being super athletic, or having wonderful personalities...even so, a quick looksee at their facebook profiles show them with their stunning wives and (sometimes) families in exotic locations. Now, I am not totally suggesting that their wives married my former classmates only for their money or possible earning potential, but the thought did enter my (and other's) mind. Again, yes, I realize this is a bit mean, and I could be opening myself up to a bunch of hate mail. I also know that, despite my blog being very popular, I rarely ever get blog comments and you would be surprised at how little most of my former classmates even know or care about my profession as a sexuality speaker and dating and sex coach. The bottom line is that I am guessing most people will have no clue about this blog post :)
All of the reunion talk has made me wonder if some things are just better left in the past. In particular, I am thinking about past boyfriends. If you are a fan of my blog you know that I dated a lot in high school, and I didn't always date guys in my class or even from New Trier. Not being one to discriminate, I dated both older and younger guys. I had a pretty serious relationship with someone in my grade for part of my freshman year, and a very serious relationship with a wonderful, albeit older college guy for the majority of my senior year. He attended a college in Southern California, and much of my senior year was either spent talking to him on the phone, writing him letters, or traveling to visit him for long weekends. I really only have very wonderful and fond memories or our time together, and it somewhat surprises me that the person I ended up dating right after him turned out to be my most dysfunctional relationship ever.
I absolutely adored and admired the next guy, but he hardly knew I existed...that is, apart from when we weren't totally getting it on. Very, very sad, I know, but he was like a drug and I was totally addicted! He and I pretty much had a "booty call" policy before the term booty call was even in existence. Also, a fun fact is that he was supposedly a virgin before I got my hot little hands on him as well as him being the first man I ever had phone sex with. Sigh....in fact, during the 2+ years we called upon each other, we only ever had sex in a bed I think 2 or 3 times. I have no idea what ever happened to him, but my best guess is that he is probably still single and still not looking for a relationship. Somehow, some part of me thinks he would be highly amused to find out about my career path. Ok that last part was kind of a lie...he contacted me a few years ago totally out of the blue after having a vivid sex dream about me, and in particular, my oral skills! Yup, it's good to know that what happened between us was as hot as I remembered it being :) It was really interesting for me to find out that we both develeoped some of the same sex kinks...and no I won't go into further detail!
There is much more I could say about lost loves, but all my rambling has made me tired. I am thrilled to report, however, that facebook has brought many old and very dear friends back into my life. People that I, for one reason or another, fell out of friendship with and completely lost touch with over the years. I am humbled and thankful for them returning back into my life, and ultimately, didn't need a high school reunion as the reason for wanting to see them.
Catherine Toyooka is the founder of Catherine Coaches, a completely unique business offering both confidential and professional dating and sex coaching assistance to individuals living in Silicon Valley and San Francisco. Catherine is also a Brand Ambassador (think sex toy tester) and Sex Educator with famed female friendly adult toy retailer Good Vibrations. She has been a nationally popular sexuality speaker since 2002. You can follow her on Twitter, Facebook, Meetup, and LinkedIn.