Since people tend to love numbers so much, I've decided to put together a list of 4 of the most common flirting and dating mistakes.
Go ahead and share what makes you interesting or different from other people, but make sure not to brag about it. It’s a huge turn off if you feel the need to state the obvious—think about those people you’ve met who try to convince you that they are “smart” or “rich” or even “sexy”…it’s not really a turn on is it? We pretty much all know "those people" who have a strange need to recite us their resume. Seriously, what is up with that? 1) I don't care and 2) It's not the least bit attractive.
Talking only about yourself
It’s a fact, people loooove to talk about themselves! If you find yourself monopolizing the conversation, take a moment and realize what is happening. Try to re-focus your interest by asking the other person about themselves, and then practice active listening. Listen with an open mind…don’t try to finish the person’s sentence before they are done. Mark my words, people will tend to like you more and get a "warm and fuzzy" feeling associated with you if they feel they have been heard.
Seriously, I don’t care if you think it is super cute or has gotten you action in the past; do not use pick up lines. Even if you are crazy-hot, pick up lines rarely work, and will most often cause you to blow whatever chance you may have had. When in doubt, a warm smile and “hello” go a long way.
Getting too invested in email correspondence
Nowadays, many people have turned to the internet to find a potential partner and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. However, the internet also makes it all too easy for awkward-acting, shy, or introverted people to avoid meeting you in person. The bottom line is that you are using the internet to find a potential mate, not a pen pal. Therefore, some degree of mutual attraction is required for the relationship to take off. If you like someone, please please please do not get bogged down in lengthy email exchanges!
My general rule is to 1) establish contact and potential interest with the first email,
2) get a feel for the other person’s suitability through short online chats or texts, and 3) meet up with the person in a public place for a SHORT meeting to establish there is physical chemistry.
Where women are concerned, most will decide in the first few minutes of meeting you if they would ever sleep with you. There is nothing wrong with verbalizing (either in person or thro email) that it is not a match. There is no need to go into details, just let the other person know that you did not feel you two are a good match. End of story. It’s much easier in the long run to be open and honest with someone if it is not a good match rather then having them wonder why you never got back with them!
So there you have it, 4 ways to avoid making some very common flirting and dating mistakes! Hopefully you will find them useful.
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Founded in 2009, Catherine Coaches is a unique consulting service offering workshops, dating coach services, and sex coaching services to help individuals living in Silicon Valley and San Francisco have a red-hot love life. Catherine has been conducting sex positive workshops through Good Vibrations and BAY Positives since 2002. She worked as the Program Director for the world's first peer based non-profit serving HIV positive youth from 2002 to 2008, and is uniquely tuned into the nuances of the San Francisco LBGTQIQ community. Find Catherine Coaches on Twitter, Meetup, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Typepad.