I admit it, I truly love facebook (and myspace when I used to use it) because it has given me the opportunity to re-connect with friends from as far back as grade school. It's even more amazing when you speak to someone on the phone, and after 20 years have past, they sound exactly the way you remember them sounding. I have sincerely enjoyed finding out what my old classmates have been up to. I am not the least bit surprised that many of my old girlfriends are now moms, probably as much as they are not surprised to find out I am happily child free. I don't think there was ever really a time when I truly wanted children or longed to be a mom.
What is completely interesting to me, though, is that seemingly NO ONE is surprised at my career choice. Seriously, don't you think that someone would have a comment about the unusual choice of me becoming a sex educator, and later a dating & sex coach! When people hear about what I have been up to, they usually say that my job is perfect for me! Yes, I have always been that friend who generally talks and asks their friends about their sex lives, but c'mon, not even an "...wow, interesting career choice, how did you manage to get into that?" query!
I am going to take people's lack of surprise at me becoming a dating & sex coach as a huge relief that I made the correct career choice. However, it does make me question just what was I like back in high school? Have I always been a huge pervert (ok I generally know that answer to that)? And, how do people (if they even do) remember me?
If you know me at all, it is no surprise that I have always been a pretty big fan of giving oral pleasure. I'm not so much surprised as I am greatly amused at the fact that this is precisely how many people (ok guys!) remember me. I guess I was kinda a guy's dream in high school....mostly because I was very, very horny, but never really wanted a relationship.
Many women (and men) do not enjoy giving oral, and often avoid it like the plague. I always found it incredibly hot and empowering (still do!) and never felt like I was being violated or de-valued. I do think that many women say they don't like giving head simply because they don't really know how to do it. After all, there is a bit of work involved (they don't call it a blow job for no reason), enthusiasm is key, and you need to be able to relax and breath in a different way. Of course, there have been periods in my life when I didn't care so much about giving head, and I absolutely believe that because I am open about liking it so much, people assume my husband must be the happiest married man in the world!
I'm pretty certain in my younger days I gave way more blow jobs then ever having had actual intercourse. Slutty perhaps, but what can I say. It's not like I can really go back in time and do things differently. And even if I could, I'm not so sure I would. After all, it is one of the reasons people (again, I mean guys) remember me so fondly, lol.
I hope you have enjoyed reading my walk down memory lane as much as I have enjoyed reminiscing about all the fun times I used to have. After all, there are much worse things in life then being orally remembered!
Catherine Toyooka is the founder of Catherine Coaches, a unique consulting service offering both confidential dating and personal relationship coaching assistance to individuals living in Silicon Valley and San Francisco. Catherine also conducts sex positive workshops exclusively through Good Vibrations.